Delirious with Desire
by kidneythieves
Summary: Sequel to "Edge of Oblivion". Sam searches desperately for Balthazar after he falls into Purgatory. What he doesn't know is that Balthazar survived, but with unimaginable consequences. Sam/Balthazar slash, sexually graphic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Before reading this story- it is a spin-off/ sequel to my story "Edge of Oblivion". I suggest you read it first before diving into this one! **

**Pretext/ Summary: Balthazar fell into the pit of Purgatory after killing Crowley with Sam's help. Now Sam is in a desperate search for his friend & hopes that he is still alive. But no one knows the consequences of falling into Purgatory or if it is even possible to escape. Unbeknownst to Sam, a doctor far away, helps a mysterious man, who looks like an angel we may know... **

**_BTW_- this story will contain eventual slashy-goodness & is sexually explicit! u've been warned! ^_-**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_Quebec, Canada_

Dr. Richard Fick watched the black skies churn. Rain pelted the windows as the wind howled outside the hospital. Lightening streaked the sky and thunder roared dangerously. It had been raining like this for three days now. Weather like this always made his bad leg ache. He reached out unconsciously, touching the scar along the side of his leg. Three years ago he had been careless with a drug-addled patient. Unfortunately for him, the junkie had a knife and stabbed him, crippling him for the rest of his life.

He leaned heavily on the crutch that cupped his wrist. It was only when it rained like this, did he believe in evil. It was as if Hell had reached out and tainted their skies black, Dr. Fick thought glumly. He never in his fifteen years living in Canada had seen it this bad. He was an American but married into the Canadian lifestyle because of his wife. At the moment, he longed for that Californian sunshine.

He glanced down at his watch. It was just past midnight. He glanced anxiously at the front entrance doors of the hospital again. He was waiting for the ambulance that had just called in a severe brain trauma victim en route. It was a relatively slow night so luckily he would be prepared for whatever come bursting through those doors. Or so he thought.

Suddenly the doors slid open. Windswept paramedics flanked their stretcher, hauling in a tall, lean man, his face soaked in blood. The paramedics were drenched with rain, and covered in black mud and blood. Wild eyed, the older of the two paramedics locked his steady gaze onto Fick. "Brain injury- found him down by Lawrence River…"

That explained the mud, Fick thought as he led the way to the operating room with the two men. He used his crutch and steadied himself as they wrapped through the maze of the hospital hallways. He grabbed their report on the man's vitals. He read it quickly, his years of experience as a doctor made able to recognize a severe case when he saw one. Within minutes, the paramedics left the brain trauma victim and Fick with his nurses. He wiped the blood from the unconscious man's face, smearing it slightly. He frowned deeply, his eyes crinkling at the sight of a relatively young man and a gash along his forehead. He prayed for a miracle and began.

A few hours later, the man had stabilized, with only a few stitches along his upper forehead. He had not awaken yet and Fick thought it best to keep him on sedatives while the wound was still so fresh. He sipped his fresh cup of coffee and sighed. The nurses had cleaned up the patient, searched his pockets for a wallet, cellphone or ID. But they found nothing. All he had on him were the clothes on his back and the boots on his feet. Nothing that indicated to Fick the man's identity. Maybe he had been robbed? He'd seen plenty of that in his years as a doctor. Robberies gone wrong with brutal violence inflicted on the victim.

He sat at the nurses' station, listening to the news report on their unique weather and pondering the predicament of the patient. Suddenly the double doors of the hospital slid open and two rain pelted police officers strode in, their youthful faces hard and unreadable. Fick knew they had come to question about the mysterious patient. He stood, his crutch lifting him.

"Hello officers," he responded politely.

"We're here about the man brought in- the one found down by Lawrence River…" the dark haired officer said. His police hat dripped droplets of rain.

"Yes, well I can't be of much help, I'm afraid. He's unconscious at the moment and has no ID on him."

"When will he wake up?" the officer asked in a cold yet insistent voice. The police officer behind him moved restlessly, looking down the corridor to the patient rooms, his eyes surveying everything.

Fick shrugged casually, though alarm bells sounded in his head at the strange anxiousness from these police officers. "I'm not sure- only time will tell."

The officers exchanged dark looks. Fick wondered what was going on. He glanced over the police officers and noted their black boots were thick with mud. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, wondering why these officers would be playing in the mud this late at night. He couldn't explain it, but for some reason, he didn't trust these officers of the law.

"We'll wait for him then," the dark haired officer stated firmly.

Fick frowned, "That's unnecessary officer," he said with a dismissive wave. "He won't be waking for quite some time. I gave him a sedative for the rest of the night."

The officers exchanged yet another look. This time, Fick noticed the blood stain underneath the dark haired officer's chin. A cold shiver ran up his spine.

"How about you give me your card and I'll be happy to give you a call the moment he wakes," Fick said, hoping his sudden nerves didn't get the better of him. Maybe the officer got into a scuffle and split a little blood. Yet they way the two officers seemed insistent on seeing the man, made him wonder if they might have been the cause of the patient's injuries. If that were the case, Fick had to protect him. No one came into his hospital and messed with his staff and especially his patients, no matter who they were.

The dark haired officer smiled thinly at him and handed him a business card. "Let's hope for your sake- you call, Doc." He said menacingly. Fick took the card and glanced up at the officer. He nearly dropped the card as he watched in horror the man's eyes flicker into an inky black then vanish back to normal. The officer smirked and left. Fick's hand trembled in unexplainable fear. Lightening lit up the inside of the hospital, with the harsh thunder rattling him to his bones.

Fick finished up his shift and went home for the night with a strange uneasiness. Maybe the black he saw in the officer's eyes was just his imagination? After all, he'd been dwelling on the terrible weather and how it was somehow evil- so maybe he set himself up to see something malevolent? Fick shook his head, rubbing a hand over his old, slightly wrinkled face. He was only in his mid-forties but felt decades older. Refusing to think about the scary officers and the mysterious patient, Fick fell into a fitful sleep.

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><p>The next evening on shift, he went straight to the head trauma patient. A nurse stood over the sleeping man, charting his progress.<p>

"He's vitals are good, Doctor." The nurse said, surveying her chart. "He's been sleeping the whole day. We're just waiting to see when he wakes."

He nodded gravely. He turned to leave when he heard a beep from the pulse machine. He spun on his good leg and saw the patient suddenly opened his eyes.

Fick stepped forward suddenly hopeful. "Hello there, I'm Dr. Fick," he said softly. "Can you hear me?"

The man stared at him blankly, then after a few seconds, groaned painfully. He hissed out angrily and reached to touch his forehead. The nurse stopped him with a quick hand. "You shouldn't touch the stitches."

The blond man frowned, "Stitches? Bloody'ell!" he suddenly waved his hand over his forehead without touching himself, just waving it. Fick watched him curiously repeat this motion several times.

"Sir, you were hurt," he explained. The man seemed to be ignoring him as he continued this weird gesture. "Can you tell me your name?" he asked trying to engage him.

Suddenly the bright blue eyes of the man locked onto him, violently angry. "What have you done to me?"

"Nothing- you were brought in last night. You're at Mercy General Hospital in Quebec. You've have a severe cut that we had to stitch up. But we still don't know if any brain damage has occurred from this injury."

The man's eyes widened in shock, "Brain damage? To me?" He snorted, and then gasped out painfully, touching his stomach.

"You were severely beaten when they ambulance brought you in," he explained.

The man looked around, suddenly noticing where he was. "I'm in a hospital?"

Fick noted the thick British accent. "Yes, can you tell me your name?"

The man glanced up at the machine which beeped his vitals and the IV stuck in his arm. A sudden sorrowful look crossed his reasonably handsome face. "I'm mortal…" he murmured to himself, staring down in shock at his body, as if it had betrayed him.

"Excuse me?" Fick asked, wondering if he heard him right.

The man's eyes went from utter loss to sudden determination. "My name is Balthazar. I need to call someone."

Fick frowned down at him, "I can give a family member a call for you. Right now, you need to rest. We still don't know what possible damage was inflicted on your brain…"

"I don't give a bloody hell about my stupid brain," he said irritably. He noticed the shock on both him and the nurse's face and rolled his eyes. "Fine- call my cousin Sam Winchester- he'll come get me."

The nurse nodded and wrote down the information.

Fick approached the bed, looking at the man severely, "you had no identification on you when you were found. The police came last night to speak with you."

Balthazar stared at him blankly. No hint of recognition in his eyes at the mention of the police. Maybe the police hadn't been the ones who had beaten him?

"They will be back to take your statement," Fick exclaimed.

Balthazar nodded in understanding, "fine then. I'll tell… whatever," he said dismissively. He cringed suddenly, touching a spot near his stitches.

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I'd love some of what you call- painkillers. If at all possible?"

Fick motioned to the nurse. She nodded and injected the morphine into the IV. Balthazar suddenly relaxed as the drugs took effect. Fick stared curiously at the man. He was certainly strange and the police that came for him were equally strange. Fick decided then to call this Sam Winchester himself and get this Balthazar character out of here as fast as possible.

* * *

><p>The phone rang a few times before a youthful voice answered, "Hello?"<p>

"Mr. Winchester?" he asked cautiously, hoping that Balthazar's memory had not been affected from the injury.

"Yeah," the man responded, but sounding just as cautious as Fick was. He nearly smiled at this, no one trusted anyone these days.

"I'm calling from Mercy General in Quebec…"

"Quebec, Canada?" the man asked puzzled. Fick realized then that the man's voice was American- not British. Maybe he expected Balthazar's cousin to be English born.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Richard Fick. I'm calling in regards to a patient here who claims you're family. He has no passport, ID, wallet… he was found down by Saint Lawrence." He explained, "He's suffered a pretty bad head injury and has been banged up quite a bit. He was also is slightly delusional. However he did say he had family and that you, Sam Winchester, would come for him."

"What's his name?"

He sighed heavily over the phone, hoping that this man would claim him. If not, he would have to call the police next. And Fick wanted to wait as long as possible before that happened. "He says his name is Balthazar."

**_TBC_**


	2. Ch 2: Memories

**Chapter 2: Memories**

Sam sat begrudgingly alone on the airplane. If Dean hadn't been so petrified of flying then he might have come with him. And if he liked Balthazar a little more, that might have helped too. Except Dean didn't and a six hour flight to Canada was his version of Hell.

Sam sighed heavily and gazed out the window. Nothing but blue skies on the horizon from his window seat. He hadn't flown anywhere in a long time, he had almost forgot how much he enjoyed it. Not the security aspect, just everything else. The airport security had a field day with him. Sam didn't think he appeared too dangerous but nearly have the airport staff did apparently. Maybe it was because of his size? He smirked, yeah, he could be quite the terrifying guy when he pouted his big puppy brown eyes. Still, the airport cops had been thorough. They violated his privacy on so many levels that he nearly expected to bend over and cough at one point.

Sam sipped his water, wondering how well Dean would have fared out with Mr. Hand's pat down. Sam then couldn't help but remember Dean's adamant disdain at the thought of going to Canada with him when he asked. "No way," he had said looking slightly ill at the mere mention of flying.

"C'mon man, he's stranded over there. The least we can do is help him, especially after what he did for us." Sam protested.

Dean cocked his eyebrow and his frown deepened, "the answer's still no."

"Fine, I'll go by myself." Sam began stuffing semi-clean clothes in his duffle bag. "Why did Cas have to go to Heaven now anyway?" He asked hotly. It would've been so much easier to just pop in with the help of an angel instead of flying halfway across the country.

"Hey- Cas has been here the past two weeks. He had to return to the pearly gates sooner or later…" Dean said with a casual shrug. "He said he needed 24 hours, it's only been two hours. I can't call him back now."

Damnit, if only that Dr. Fick had called him sooner- then Sam could be there already and back with Balthazar. Sam gritted his teeth and bit the bullet. Cas and Dean left him no choice but to get their friend alone and without help. So Sam left, passport and duffle bag in hand. He promised to call the minute he hand Balthazar because by that time Cas might be back to come get them.

Sam took a deep breath and relaxed into his coach passenger seat. Luckily no one sat besides him so he could stretch out his lengthy legs a bit. He glanced down at his watch. Five hours and counting. He was anxious to get to Balthazar. He wanted to make sure he was all right. Though obviously not since he was in a hospital in Canada. Something happened to him in Purgatory and that prevented him from leaving that hospital. He just hoped that it wasn't serious. Balthazar was a strong angel, with enough attitude and ego to take the hottest Hollywood celeb down. But so was Dean. And after his stay in Hell, he had come back a changed man. Now Sam sincerely hoped that didn't happen to Balthazar.

His heart clenched achingly at the thought. He enjoyed the angel's cocky, brass view of life. It was entertaining and refreshing to Sam. He and his brother spent so much time in the darkness, fighting monsters, demons and some serious badies, that it helped having someone like Balthazar around to shine the light on them from time to time. An angel with a since of fashion and taste, and not socially awkward like their other angel. Balthazar was able to play well in a public and was useful in a fight. And strangely enough, he had become Sam's friend.

Balthazar had rarely offered his help in the past when dealing with their demons, so when he actually made an attempt, it was as disastrous as the Titanic incident. Still, he did well in the battle against Crowley. He saved the world with them and inadvertently closed the gates of Purgatory with his own blood. Sam rubbed his temple, not wanting to remember seeing Balthazar being taken by deathly black smoke. It was a memory that still burned in his mind like a smoldering ember.

Sam rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep before the plane landed.

* * *

><p>His dream was surreal at first, realizing quickly that it was a dream. Sam wondered vaguely if it was a nightmare as he glanced down at his naked form. His muscles were taunt and his body tense. He gazed around him, waiting to see a classroom or people staring at him. But it was empty, just darkness. Then from the darkness he heard someone gasp. Not in pain, but in sexual pleasure. Sam eyes searched the darkness.<p>

Another gasp and a sigh. Suddenly Sam had his hand pressed against someone's back, pushing them down into a bed. Sam felt the softness of a mattress beneath his knees and the hardness of his erection press against warm skin. He felt a surge of sensations rush the base of his cock and fill him to the tip. He grunted, his hand digging into the muscled back. He felt himself thrust forward into the darkness with his towering erection. Warm heat surrounded his cock. Blindly, Sam began frantically thrusting forward to feel that heat again and again. A cry of pleasure came from the darkness. Sam unable to stop his wild thrusting, strained to look past the darkness to the person he held down on the bed. The blackness suddenly cleared and his gasped in shock but didn't stop. It was Balthazar. The angel was writhing and trembling on his hands and knees on the bed. Sam behind him and… oh God! Sam reeled but only for a moment as his cock actually got harder, knowing it was Balthazar he was fucking mindlessly. Balthazar's beautifully nude body was tense as his fingers dug into the sheets and he groaned loudly.

"Sam…" he gasped as he pushed himself into his cock.

Sam felt the tension grip his manhood viciously, loving the mewling sounds Balthazar made for him. He stood in the verge of cumming, he was so close. He gripped Balthazar's hips and drove into him, slamming into his backside with the brutal need that had filled him for so long.

"Sir…"

Sam heard a female voice from the fog of darkness. Balthazar trembled, "Sam…" he breathed out in that attractive British accent. Sam clung to the angel, not wanting to let go.

"Sir… we've landed…" said the voice again. This time Sam felt a jolt sucker punch him as he jerked awake in his seat. His eyes opened to the sight of a pretty round face brunette, dressed as a stewardess.

Sam stared blankly at her, and then felt the embarrassing pressure that had built between his legs during his wet-dream. He cleared his throat and sat up, "Thanks," he breathed out and nodded to her. She smiled and left.

The moment she was gone, Sam instantly pushed the palm of his hand into his aching erection that now tented his jeans. Holly shit, he thought as the humiliation began welling up inside him. How long had he had sexual feelings for Balthazar? He gazed in amazed horror at his randy cock. He rubbed a quick hand over his face and took a breath, calming his nerves.

He would have to seriously think about this before he caught up with Balthazar. But now was not the time. Sam quickly grabbed his stuff and got off the plane, feeling slightly embarrassed and shocked at his newly discovered attraction to the angel. Attraction aside, Sam had a job to do here and it was to help Balthazar. Sam decided to forget the dream, as he walked through the airport towards the taxi pickups. He had to stay focus, he told himself. When he reached the front entrance to the Canadian airport, the doors opened to the bitter cold air. Sam took a deep breath of it and closed his eyes briefly. But once he did, images of Balthazar, naked and gasping for breath filled his mind.

So much for forgetting the dream, he thought grudgingly.

_**TBC**_


	3. Ch 3: Save Me

**Chapter 3: Save Me**

Balthazar stared dully out his hospital window. Dreary rain smeared the window and dark ominous clouds hung low in the sky. He tried to remember everything that happened leading up to his current mess. Why did he have to go all noble and save the world with the wonder twins? He never did that! Yet the one time he decides to sacrifice for the greater good and all that, it backfires with hellish results.

He gazed downward at his bruised and scrapped arm which had an IV attached to give intervals of pain medicine. Pain. Pain was something he could never grow accustomed to as a mortal. Mortal, Balthazar wondered if this was the payment for escaping Purgatory alive. How he managed to escape still mystified him. One minute he was being pulled into an abyss the next he was lying in a hospital bed, with a nurse standing over him.

He rolled his eyes with a sigh, looking away from his helpless vessel.

He was no longer the powerful warrior angel. He was a weak, simpering, injured mortal with a bruised ribcage and painfully throbbing forehead. Balthazar had become a damsel in distress over night. Now he just needed someone to save him. A knight in white, shining armor.

Sam. He knew it the moment Dr. Fick asked for a family member to reach. Sam wasn't exactly family but he would save him. That was who Sam Winchester was. A hero. One who charged blindly in for the damsel, uncaring of the possible repercussions. His handsome white knight. Balthazar smiled in amusement at the thought. Sam was a devilishly handsome boy with those beautiful eyes and soft hair that he itched to run his hands through at times. And not to mention, the hunter was built like a brick wall. Overwhelmingly large with those massive shoulders and thick, roping muscles. He was just sinfully delicious to look at. What would he taste like, he pondered with a coy smile.

Balthazar had often wondered what it would be like to have Sam gasping out his name as he rode him into the next decade. Yet the idea of Sam pounding into him, losing the careful control Sam always had on himself and just letting go, excited the angel even more. Sensually wicked thoughts of Sam Winchester, the gloriously roughed hunter, entertained him many times. He had always been attracted to him and probably always will be. He just couldn't do anything about it unfortunately. Sam was straighter than an arrow and Balthazar wasn't even on his target range. So he succumbed to smutty fantasies instead.

Sam was probably going to help him out this one time because of the whole Purgatory bit- other than that, Sam had no obligation to see or help him.

Balthazar wasn't like Sam. He was more the anti-hero. He would only save someone if it helped him in return. Now however, he realized that might have been a flawed outlook, considering he didn't have too many friends to rely upon in this crucial hour. There was Cas. Except with that whole opening the gates of Purgatory bit, Balthazar was hesitant to say the least on calling on his old pal.

Balthazar lifted his shirt and noticed the massive black and grey bruises over the side of his chest. He took a slow deep breath and hissed out from the pain of expanding his ribs. Damnit, he thought bitterly, this is what happens when falling into a pit of doom. He vaguely recalled stumbling to the edge of the open gates to Purgatory. Staring down at the abyss of monsters and blackness. He had actually smirked, feeling arrogant at the lucky save, only then to be sucked down by smothering black smoke. The irony, he realized.

His stomach growled viciously at him yet again. He clicked the button that retrieved one of those hapless nurses. Impatient, Balthazar kept clicking the button until a nurse appeared. A petite woman dressed in hideous green scrubs strode in with a hard gaze, her lips pursed angrily. "Mr. Balthazar- you only have to push the button once to get out attention," she said sternly.

He smirked teasingly at her, "I know. But it's hard to resist seeing you walk in ready to bash me over the head with a bedpan."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him and busily checked the machines that beeped irritably around him. "Are you in pain?" she asked.

"Yes, every second. The drugs you have been giving me are marvelous, though it has given me a rather big appetite."

She glanced at his chart, "Lunch was less than an hour ago- you ate then correct?"

He nodded. How could he possibly explain to this human that his vessel was now mortal and he had been starving it for the past year and needed to refuel it before it chewed away at his insides? "I did, yes. It's was delicious." He stated drily, "but I'm a growing a boy and need nourishment."

The nurse glanced at him and back to his chart. He pleaded with her with his eyes as he said, "I will be eternally grateful."

She huffed out a reluctant sigh. "All right, I'll see what I can get you from the kitchen." She turned to leave then hesitated. "Don't touch that button again. Got it?"

He dropped the clicker with his palms raised innocently, "of course- wouldn't dream of it."

Once she was gone Balthazar returned to staring blankly out the window. Suddenly there was a light tapping at his open room door. He glanced over to see the crippled Dr. Fick standing in the doorway, leaning heavily on his crutch.

"May I come in?" he asked politely.

Balthazar shrugged indifferently. Dr. Fick entered, his face weary from countless years on the job and the injury that obviously still affected him. Balthazar had spoken to the doctor a few times now. He tried to re-piece the events that lead up to him being found at the river. But Balthazar had pretended ignorance. Thought Balthazar really had no idea how he was sprung from Purgatory, least of all how he ended up in Canada with no memory of getting there. He gave the doc credit though, he was a tenacious bastard and persistent. He didn't seem to give up easily, especially when it came to his patients. Balthazar admired that.

"How are you feeling today, Balthazar?" Dr. Fick asked.

The angel smiled coolly, "Better than yesterday."

"So improving then?" he asked under his scrutinizing gaze. No, Balthazar thought, he hadn't been improving, he was still mortal.

"What brings you to my humble-abode, Doctor? Another head examine?" Balthazar didn't feel up for company or a verbal sparring. His head ached and his stomach growled.

"I wanted to speak to you about the police."

"Right… I have to deal with them, then?"

Dr. Fick's stoic face turned slightly nervous and almost frightened. "I didn't want to mention this before- not until your cousin was here. But the police are waiting for you. They want to get your statement."

Balthazar nodded, those his eyes focused in on the doctor. He wished he could read his mind right now and find out why he was so frightened over these police officers. "All right then, send'em in."

Dr. Fick hesitated before leaving. Once he was out the door, Balthazar wondered what was going on that the good doctor didn't want to tell him.

A few minutes later Dr. Fick walked in with two police officers. The second Balthazar laid eyes on them- he knew why the doc had been nervous. Demons. He spent enough time around them to recognize them, even as a mortal. Balthazar tensed, knowing he was helpless against them- he was just a useless vessel now.

"Hello boys," Balthazar greeted them casually.

The dark haired demon approached his bed and smiled evilly down at him. Balthazar watched in horror as his eyes fogged into an inky black, though kept his cool and sarcastic demeanor. The angel knew he was in trouble. With no powers, no weapons and no friends around- Balthazar realized quickly he might die at the hands of this demon.

"How did you escape Purgatory, angel?" the demon hissed out.

Balthazar cocked his head to the side, "You know- I haven't a clue."

"Don't play games." He threatened menacingly, "Or I'll rip you apart- limb, for limb."

A shiver raced up his spine. Bloody Hell! What an inconvenient time to be angel-less! "Sorry but I believe I didn't make myself clear the first time. I don't bloody know how I escaped."

The demon snarled and flung his hand up in the air. Balthazar grimaced, his stomach muscles curling and tightening painfully. The demons powers worked on his vessel, squeezing him from the inside out like a tomato ready to burst.

Dr. Fick raced to his bedside, "Balthazar! Are you all right?"

"He's fine, doc." The police officer said and with the flick of his wrist the doctor was sent flying across the room.

"No!" Balthazar groaned out weakly for the doctor as his stomach muscles contracted again. This time he tasted the bitter metallic thickness of blood in his mouth. He coughed, blood trickling out, down his jaw.

"I can do this all night, angel." The demon taunted. Dr. Fick moaned lowly from the corner of the room. Balthazar watched helplessly as the other demon-officer strode over to the doctor and silenced him with a hard fist to the face, knocking him out.

Balthazar suddenly felt a surge of strength he had left, fill him. He had never been one for giving up and at the moment of defeat, Balthazar always fought back. Now was no different. It didn't matter that he was mortal or weak. It was still the same. He was facing his death- his defeat. Time to fight back.

"I can too, darling…" he drawled out in his accent then spat out a mouth full of blood onto the demon.

The demon snarled viciously, the blood making his face that more malevolent as he swung a heavy fist and hit the side of Balthazar's injured head. He was unconscious moments later, warm blood trickling down the side of his face.

* * *

><p>Sam arrived at the hospital too late. Police cars swarmed the parking lot and the inside lobby was riddled with cops and hospital staff. Sam glanced around and saw the nurses' station. A nurse, looking near hysterical glanced up at him.<p>

"I'm Sam Winchester. I'm here for my cousin… Balthazar."

Her eyes widened. She shot a look behind her to a doctor, on a crutch, holding his head in his hand. "Dr. Fick- Mr. Winchester is here for Balthazar."

The doctor she addressed, rose from the chair instantly, his expression full of despair. Sam's heart dropped and hit the floor. Was he too late? What happened to him? Was that why the police were here?

"Where is he? Is he okay?" Sam rushed out.

The doctor hesitated, "you're Sam Winchester?" He seemed unconvinced that he was there for the angel.

Sam shot him a hard look, "Where's Balthazar?"

turned and spoke quietly to the nurse and she nodded. Sam was about to open his mouth to speak, but the doctor shook his head, and motioned him to follow him to the next room. Together they entered a private, empty patient room.

Dr. Fick turned on his crutch to look at him. Sam noticed then that the doctor's face was swollen on the side as if he had been struck by something very large. Or something.

"Balthazar was kidnapped tonight by men dressed as police officers," He explained quickly. "I told the police nearly everything I heard but he said things…" he hesitated, with sudden new determination glinting in his eyes. "I trust you are Balthazar relative?"

Sam nodded, "You can trust me, Dr." He said, hoping that whatever Balthazar said to these imposters would help him figure out who he was up against and maybe where he could find them.

Dr. Fick ran a hand through his hair in a helpless gesture. His shook his head in disbelief before he even spoke. "I heard the officer say angel… escaping Purgatory. And Balthazar mentioned demons."

Sam reeled. How did demons already know of Balthazar's escape? Why would they be after him?

Sam hesitated, thinking quickly. "Why was Balthazar here?" he asked, needing to understand why the angel didn't fight back and let those demons take him.

"He had a severe head wound, like I said over the phone. We had been giving him painkillers since last night to help with his pain…"

Sam felt the world shift under his feet. Balthazar was mortal. That was why he didn't fight back against the demons- because he couldn't. And that alone could be the reason why the demons went after him- an angel, with no mojo could be very handy for a demon who needed information or a big payoff.

"Does anyone else know what was said?" He asked the doctor.

"No one, just me." Dr. Fick sighed, "I'm sorry I couldn't save him, Mr. Winchester."

Sam shook his head, "It's not your fault, Dr. I'm sure you did everything you could to help him."

Dr. Fick gazed up at him, vulnerable and defeated.

_**TBC**_

* * *

><p><strong>**Please comment &amp; review! I've been away &amp; missed u guys! Lots of build up for the story so far- but don't worry, Sam is on hunting those demons down as we speak! ^_^ More to come &amp; soon.***<strong>


	4. Ch 4: His White Knight

**Chapter 4: His White Knight **

He awoke in a fog. Dazed and in incredible pain. His head felt heavy and rolled to the side. Suddenly a hard slap across his face jolted Balthazar to the surface from his mind. His eyes shot open and the severe intensity of the pain from his head was damn near blinding. He grimaced and cursed loudly.

He looked up to see the two demons standing before him, dressed as civilians now. The one in front of him held a vicious looking knife, the other one held a fire poker, burning hot with steam. Balthazar gulped. He jerked his hands, but they were tied behind his back. His legs, torso and arms were also tied to a chair in the middle of a deserted, condemned house. He glanced around, looking for something- anything that could save him. Windows were broken or nailed shut, the doors were locked and the rooms were empty. A creeping dread filled him.

"Tell us what we wanna know angel and you might live tonight…"

"What a tomorrow, eh?" He asked candidly, though feeling all the humor suddenly drain away.

The demon shrugged callously, "Maybe- if you don't bleed out first."

Balthazar swallowed, his mouth still tasted of the blood from earlier. "All right then- what do you wanna know boys?"

"Purgatory- where is it?"

Balthazar chuckled on the verge of hysterics. Of course they wanted Purgatory, who didn't these days? "I don't know. I fell in, hit my head when I popped out and wha-la, I'm mortal and amnesic."

The two demons glared at him, unconvinced.

He shrugged, the bindings on his body beginning to feel cumbersome and uncomfortable. "I don't know what else I could possibly tell you." He said, exasperated. "Obviously the truth is not convenient for you- so if you like… I can tell you where I fell in at, yeah?"

The leader of the two demons, the black haired one, holding the lethal looking knife, simply nodded. Balthazar smiled thinly, knowing he was making some progress with these buffoons. "The Nevada desert- you know, that really big, hot place. You should be familiar with that kind of environment," he said glancing at his unsavory friend in the back. The demon set him a scathing look, Balthazar winked at him then returned his gaze to the leader. "That's where you'll find the monstrous pit of death and souls."

"You expect us to believe that?" He asked stepping forward with his blade.

Balthazar couldn't take his eyes away from the glinting steel. "Yeah- it makes since that Purgatory's there and not at, say- I dunno… Disneyland?"

The demon slashed at him. Balthazar tipped back in his chair instinctively, ducking away from the knife just in time. He fell backwards with a hard slam. He grunted, his head jarring slightly from the fall.

"I'm going to enjoy pulling you apart, angel… piece by piece… until you tell me the truth…"

Suddenly there was a loud bang. Balthazar, unable to see from his viewpoint on the ground, looked up at the ceiling and to the side, but he couldn't see a thing tied to the stupid bloody chair. He heard the sounds of rustling clothes, rushed movement and sudden screams of pain. He frantically tried to wiggle free of his binds, anything to escape this entrapment. His head throbbed painfully, almost paralyzing his attempt to escape.

Balthazar recognized the grunt from the leader demon and then heard his sigh of death. Silence. Death lingering in the air. Suddenly heavy footsteps reached Balthazar and he stared up in awe. His white knight. "Bloody'ell," he grumbled in surprise as he gazed up at Sam bloody Winchester. Sam knelt besides him.

"How did you find me?" Balthazar asked in amazement to the hunter, who currently stared down at him with those handsome doey eyes of his.

"Lucky for us, Bobby Singer has lots of friends," Sam explained. "Fellow hunter knew a few demon hot-spots. I never thought I'd see so much of Canada trying to track you down."

"I don't have any friends," Balthazar muttered lowly, the pain from his head making it harder and harder to string two sentences together.

Sam stared down at him, his face suddenly soft, "You have me."

Their eyes locked for a brief moment. Balthazar for the first time saw the raw vulnerability in the hunter's eyes.

Balthazar felt his heart accelerate. He ignored it though, knowing that now was not the time or place for such sentiments.

"Get me out of here, Sam." Balthazar said almost begging.

Sam touched his hand consolingly. "I will," and began working on the knots that chained the angel to the chair.

* * *

><p>Hands drenched in blood, Sam sat stony still on the chair that he positioned besides Balthazar's bed. After they had stumbled out of the demon house, Sam had to drag Balthazar to the rental car and then quickly bury the demons. It was a difficult task because he was worried about Balthazar's condition so he dug quickly and endlessly. The moment he was done, he drove them to a motel for the night and by then, Balthazar was unconscious. Luckily Sam had picked a rather empty motel and was able to carry the bleeding, unconscious angel into his room without any curious eyes on him.<p>

He sighed heavily now, staring at the sleeping angel. His head was badly wounded. The stitches had nearly come undone from the beatings the demons had given him. He should've got there sooner, he chided himself for the hundredth time that night.

Sam had stripped the angel out of the dirty, blood stained hospital gown and pulled the covers over his nude body, wanting to give Balthazar some decency and care, especially after so much violence had been inflicted on him.

Sam had painstakingly washed the blood off the side of his face, careful not to reopen the wound on his temple. Sam had debated about calling Cas. But he wasn't sure if Cas would even respond- he was in Heaven and told them he needed time. And he wasn't sure if Balthazar would be too happy seeing his old pal. So he decided to wait until Balthazar awoke to make the decision on whether or not to involve Cas.

Sam stared at his bloodied hands. Still in shock from seeing Balthazar as a mortal. The cocky, arrogant, all-mighty angel was now powerless and vulnerable. Sam's heart fluttered weakly as he vividly remembered seeing Balthazar pulled into the black smoke and vanishing, to now… broken and bleeding.

Guilt began to chew away at his insides. This had been his fault- he should've protected the angel better and then none of this would have happened. He would be back to his regular, confident angel-self and Sam would be off hunting monsters and demons with Dean.

Sam's gaze traveled over the handsome face of the sleeping angel. Aside from the bruises and gaping wound on his forehead, Balthazar was still beautiful. His blond hair was a ruffled mess, his body hard and sleek with well defined muscles, not that Sam overly looked when stripping off his clothes. His blue eyes still bright yet less vibrant from the amount of pain he currently suffered from. Sam just hoped that Balthazar was still the same angel he knew. He remembered when Dean came out of the pit and was a changed man. Now, he prayed that when Balthazar woke up he was still the savvy, snarky angel that he used to be. Sam's mind suddenly brought forth the dream he had on the airplane.

A blush flushed his cheeks red and he looked away from Balthazar. Where had that dream come from anyway? Was he so in need for sex that he was having wet-dreams now? Except that didn't explain why Balthazar was in the dream in the first place. Yet Sam remembered how he felt seeing Balthazar pulled into the pit and how it devastated it him. Maybe, somewhere in all this chaos, he saw Balthazar as more. Sam just wondered how much more and what that really meant. And until he figured out all his confused, mixed up feelings regarding Balthazar, he'd keep them to himself.

Suddenly those blue eyes slowly lifted and the said angel took a deep breath, his chest rising beneath the covers. Sam gulped, waiting.

Balthazar's gaze focused on the ceiling, and then slowly turned to him. His eyes were bluer than he remembered… so breathtakingly clear and vivid. Sam chided himself then, knowing he shouldn't be dwelling on the angel's beauty but rather the angel himself.

"Are you okay, Balthazar?" he asked.

He closed his eyes briefly, unanswering.

"I can call for Cas…" he rushed out, not wanting to see Balthazar in anymore pain. "He can heal you- take us back home." He paused, realizing that he said home. "I mean, I can go home and…"

"Shut-it," he cursed at him. "My head is throbbing- and your blathering is not helping."

"I'll get Cas-."

"No," Balthazar said steadily, his eyes locking onto his. "I don't want to see Cas…"

"What? Look- I know he betrayed us but he's good now. He made a mistake, we've forgiven him…"

Balthazar's eyes grew a steely cold, "No. I don't care. Cas is not to see me like this."

Sam suddenly understood what Balthazar meant. The shame and humiliation that flickered in his eyes now told him the truth. The angel was embarrassed of his new state of being- human. "You mean…" he paused, "you don't want Cas to know your mortal now?"

Balthazar glanced away, shame evident on his face.

"Are you serious?" Sam asked, getting to his feet, filling with newfound anger. "Cas is your friend- besides it's not like you asked to be mortal, Balthazar. It just happened."

"Oh, really?" Balthazar's own anger flared. "Just like that?" he snapped his fingers. "A puff of smoke makes me limp?"

Sam glared, "Something happened to you down there. We just don't know yet. Once we figure it out, I'm sure we can get you're powers back, Balthazar. In the meantime Cas can help you…"

"I'm bloody well fine," he spat out angrily, abruptly sitting up in the bed. But the moment he did, Sam watched the wave of pain hit him and the angel grimaced, shutting his eyes as though trying to escape his pain.

His heart flipped and he was by his side, "Are you okay?"

"Stop asking me that." His retorted thickly in that accented drawl.

"Then stop lying to me." Sam countered, "You're not fine."

Balthazar's sky blue eyes fluttered open on him. "I always thought I was pretty fine, Sammy," he teased lightly.

Sam sighed, "This is no time for joking, Balthazar."

"I'd say- perfect timing. I'm in terrible, unrelenting pain and you're my gushing nurse who earlier this evening played my white knight."

Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm calling Cas."

Balthazar reached out and tried to stop him, but Sam slipped away, determined to get him healed. He looked upwards and prayed out loud for Cas. "Cas- c'mon man, I know you're up there. I found Balthazar- he's pretty banged up and he could use your help about now…"

Before the prayer was finished a flap of wings sounded in the room and Castiel appeared in the far corner, dressed in his usual suit, tie and trench coat. The angel nodded to Sam and his eyes slowly found Balthazar.

Balthazar smiled helplessly at him, "Hello Cassie."

"Balthazar…" Cas said in a deep, husky voice. "You're alive."

"Only just…" he muttered gloomily. "I fell in an angel and came out a mortal."

Cas stared at him in shock and then turned to Sam. Sam confirmed it with a sad nod, knowing that a powerless angel was a defeated one. Cas stepped towards him, gazing over his wounds, concern knitting his brow. "You've been hurt," he stated.

"I feel like that humpty-dumpty character," Balthazar said with a sad smile. "Even if you heal me, I still won't ever be whole again."

Cas leaned forward and waved his hand over the wound. Sam watched as Balthazar's wound vanished and his whole body seemed to glow with the healing powers. The angel sighed in relief and fell heavily against the pillow. Cas stared down at him, "You're healed now- though your still missing your grace."

Sam couldn't recall seeing Balthazar so defeated, if ever. "It's all right Cas- I appreciate anyway."

Suddenly Cas looked away with a pained expression on his face and touching his temple. Balthazar seemed to recognize this gesture. "Being called home, Cassie?" His voice held a hint of longing to it.

Cas's cool eyes were filled with a new determination. "I will ask about your grace, Balthazar. I will try and help you, I promise."

Balthazar stared back indifferently, "Well- off you go then."

Before Cas left he looked at Sam, "I will come back for you- pray for me in a couple hours. If I don't respond, wait a day. Can you do that, Sam?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded, understanding that Cas wanted to help. Besides it would be easier getting back home with Balthazar if an angel zapped them back.

Cas glanced back at Balthazar with one final look and vanished.

Sam watched as Balthazar rubbed his fingers over his temple and suddenly smiled. "I have to admit- I feel a lot better without that constant throbbing in my head." His fingers then found the dried blood in his hair, he sneered in disgust. "Time for a shower then," he muttered and began to stand, when he suddenly realized he was naked. Sam glanced away quickly and headed towards his laptop on the table. Sam had turned in time to miss the large, smirking grin on Balthazar's face.

"Shy are we, Sammy?" Balthazar asked mockingly from behind him.

"No," Sam cleared his throat uncomfortably, back still firmly turned. "Just wanted to give you some privacy."

Balthazar hummed from behind him and Sam's ears strained to hear the soft footfalls of the angel headed towards the bathroom. Suddenly Balthazar said from bathroom, "Can you get us some food? I'm ravenous- have been all bloody day it feels like." Sam heard the shower flicker on.

He sighed then, knowing that the naked angel was tucked safely behind the shower curtain now. He needed to grab his jacket by the bed for the car keys to do the quick store run.

He turned just in time to see Balthazar, leaning casually against the doorframe, the hot spray of the shower steam filling the bathroom from behind him. He stood gloriously and unabashedly naked in front of Sam. A hot flush suddenly warmed his insides at the sight of him. Damn, the angel certainly was handsome and sure of himself.

"And if you don't mind, Sammy," Balthazar said with an arrogant smile. Obviously the devilish angel was feeling better, Sam thought dully. "Could you also pick some clothes out for me?"

Sam attempted to look unperturbed by his nudity, though his heart was racing a mile a minute. He nodded coolly, "Anything else?"

The angel's blue eyes turned scorching as they traveled leisurely over the length of Sam's body. Sam gulped as a rush of excitement gripped him.

"I can think of a few things…" he drawled out in that husky British accent that warmed Sam from the inside out.

Sam glared at him then, knowing the angel was getting at something entirely different than what he could get in a store run. "Well- if you think of anything else, Balthazar. You have my number." Sam turned on his heel, snagged his jacket and was out the door before his brain fried from the amount of dirty, sexual thoughts that burned into it. All involving that rakehell angel, his fabulously lean body and that damn taunting smile.

He yanked the car door opened. He had to figure out a way to keep Balthazar at arms length or else he might burn up from all the sexual tension racing between them. Sam turned the key and headed to the store, suppressing the urge to run back in there, pin that handsome ass-butt of an angel against the wall and kiss the living hell out of him.

**_TBC_**

* * *

><p><strong>**Special guest appearance by Cas! And things are starting to heat up between Sam &amp; Balthazar! i know im torturing you guys but sometimes the sexual tension is just too much fun to write &amp; draw out! MUHAHAH. i know i'm evil. Don't worry though- the next chapter is already in the works. <strong>


	5. Ch 5: Angel's Charm

**Chapter 5: The Angel's Charm**

Balthazar felt refresh and rejuvenated after the hot shower. He washed away the blood and grime he'd collected over the past few days, starting from the edges of the Canadian river to the condemned house where the demons held him. It felt absolutely wonderful washing away all those moments of pain and confusion, replacing them with hope for finding his grace, pain free and with Sam.

Sam, he thought, images of the handsome hunter entertained him in the shower. He smirked, hand drying his hair with the towel. He had loved watching Sam blush prettily at his naked body and his obvious sexual hints. Balthazar had never seen the hunter move that fast as he darted for the exist. He chuckled. He decided to have fun with Sam Winchester. He felt the attraction between them and more importantly, he felt the sexual desire grown with every passing minute. It was only a matter of time before Sam snapped and let his control finally slip.

Balthazar smiled at the thought. He just hoped Sam would lose control soon, or else he would be the one who threw the hunter onto the bed and kissed him senseless. Too bad he was powerless, Balthazar thought. It would be so much easier to use angelic strength against the strong hunter to subdue him, but no matter, he thought. He still was in good physical shape, he might have at least a good fight in him should he need to overwhelm Sam. Maybe a surprise attack would give him the upper-hand, he wondered. Balthazar snorted a laugh, he never had to plan for sex before, he would just ooze his natural charm and charisma and the ladies and sometimes men, would practically kneel at his feet, desperate for him. But Sam wasn't like that. He knew Balthazar too well that his charm didn't work on him.

So he had to attack him in other ways. He smiled, wrapping the towel around his waist. He would have Sam one way or another, he promised himself.

Balthazar realized that he wanted Sam Winchester, breathlessly panting for him, more than finding his grace was. After he had his torrid, frenzied moment of sexual pleasure with the hunter, he would hunt down his grace. In the meantime, he would devour Sam the second he walked through those doors. Well, maybe not that second, he was still hungry and nourishment seemed vital at the moment.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Balthazar smiled gleefully. Tonight he was having wild, dirty, hot sex with that cute hunter and there was no way in Hell anything would prevent that. He opened the door with his best seductive smile. His smile wavered. It was not Sam at the door. It was an older man, dressed in a wrinkled plaid shirt, worn out blue jeans, brown leather jacket and a trucker hat that had seen more years than the man wearing it.

The man smiled politely, "You Sam Winchester?" he asked brusquely.

Balthazar stared down the shorter man. His face seemed strangely familiar though it was hard to tell because he hid some of it with a rather messy beard. "No, I'm Balthazar- who might you be?"

"I'm Jackson," he held out his hand. "Friend of Bobby Singer's."

Balthazar reeled for a moment, "Really? So you're the friend who gave Sam the demon locations then?"

He nodded, "Looks like it panned out okay- seeing as how you're currently alive and unharmed." His dark gaze traveled to the length of him, "Glad to see that he was able to find you- in one piece."

"Yes, me too." He paused, staring at the man. "You know, you kinda of remind me of a Canadian Bobby."

He chuckled, "You make me sound like bacon." His eyes twinkled, Balthazar suddenly trusted the man in that instant. Any hunter that was a friend of Bobby's was an ally to him.

"What brings you here, Mr…?"

"Fick, Jackson Fick."

Balthazar stared at him, astonished. No wonder this hunter looked familiar. Balthazar knew his brother- Dr. Fick.

* * *

><p>Sam's hard gaze stared at the older hunter who sat across from him at the table. Balthazar was right when he said that Jackson was like Bobby, only Canadian. He arrived a half hour ago with dinner and clothes for Balthazar to find the angel with company. Sam noticed that Balthazar at first seemed a little put out by having Jackson there, but he brightened when Sam handed him some food and clothes.<p>

Balthazar was now dressed in a black t-shirt, dark blue jeans and black boots that he found by chance and that he knew the angel would appreciate. He had polished off his hamburger in minutes and sat nursing a glass of whiskey sitting besides Sam.

Sam was having a difficult time concentrating on Jackson when Balthazar sat so close to him, smelling of fresh soap and pure male. He never thought those scents would turn him on but anything involving his angel seemed to arouse him. Just seeing Balthazar walk out of the bathroom, dressed in his usual dark colors and a soft smile of appreciation on those supple lips made Sam's stomach stir uncomfortably.

Balthazar explained to him that Jackson was here to help them and happened to be Dr. Fick's brother.

"I haven't seen him in a while." Jackson said sadly, "My brother thinks I'm kinda a loon. Always off huntin' and not holdin' down a real job."

"He just doesn't know the truth," Sam said consolingly.

Jackson took a sip of his whiskey, "Yup- and I planned on keeping it that way. Though I'm sure he's probably more confused than ever after encountering you two."

Sam and Balthazar exchanged looks.

Jackson shrugged, "It's all right. I knew I would have to tell him sooner or later. But I think that can wait." He paused then with uncertainty, "I came down here to help you boys out. Seeing as how you probably don't know much about Canada and I thought I could lend a hand."

"Yeah, that sounds great." Sam said, realizing that having a local in their back pocket, who was also a hunter would help their odds on finding Balthazar's grace.

Jackson smiled warmly at Sam. "Thanks- I don't often team up and I'm sure you don't either. But I know you're probably anxious to get home, so the least I can do is help move your hunt along faster."

"Yes- I'm quite anxious myself," Balthazar commented drily. "Being mortal is not ideal."

Jackson nodded gravely, "Yes- I'm sure."

Balthazar smiled thinly, a dark look in his eyes that Sam knew all too well when the angel was about to pop off.

So Sam interrupted before Balthazar had time to make a snarky remark. "So do you live around here Jackson?"

The older hunter shook his head, "No- I live bout' two hours away." He hesitated, looking unsure again. "I was actually about to ask if I could just stick around here with you boys instead of headin' back. It would be easier…"

He trailed off and Sam spoke up, "Of course." He knew it was hard enough asking for the hunter, let alone inviting himself into their hunt. But Sam knew an ally when he saw one and Jackson was only trying to be helpful. "You can take my bed for the night. It's pretty late- so we'll get an early start tomorrow."

Sam stood, feeling Balthazar's eyes burn into him. Jackson nodded, mumbled a thanks and stifled a yawn as he went to Sam's bed. Sam ignored the angel's glare as he walked over to the table and flicked off the lamp and his laptop. He started primping the couch that sat beneath the motel window, preparing it for his makeshift bed when he heard Balthazar grunt angrily. Sam glanced over his shoulder to see Balthazar down a full glass of whiskey and grudgingly head over to his bed for the night. Sam shook his head, wondering what pissed off the angel now. He should be grateful that they had extra help. But he was acting like some moody teenager. Sam decided to let it go and if Balthazar kept it up in the morning he would talk to him about it.

* * *

><p>The morning light flicker through the blinds of the window and over Sam's face. He breathed out a sigh and slowly rose from the couch. His gaze traveled over to the snoring hunter and sleeping angel. He glanced at his watch. 6:02am. Still a little early. Sam decided to take a quick shower before the gang woke up. He grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to the bathroom. He relieved himself and then stepped into the shower. Sam enjoyed his morning shower- it always revived him and prepared him for the day. Sometimes when he was lucky, he had enough time to workout too. But today was not the best day for a workout. They were on a time limit.<p>

Sam had forgotten to pray for Cas last night with Jackson showing up. But Cas did give him a day- so Sam would take it and if they didn't find anything by tonight, he would give the angel a call.

Sam flicked the shower head off and pushed the curtain back. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Balthazar leaning against the closed door of the bathroom.

"Balthazar…." He hissed out, not wanting to wake up Jackson, who he hoped was still asleep and not wondering why the angel and hunter were in the bathroom together. "What the hell are you doing?"

Balthazar glared at him hotly. "Why did you let that hunter stay with us last night?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Damnit- you can't be serious, Balthazar."

The angel's jaw muscle twitched. His eyes stormy as he said, "I'm deadly serious, Sam."

"Why are you so angry about this anyway?" Sam asked, biting back his anger with the impetuous angel.

Sudden heat sparkled in Balthazar's cool blue eyes. The heat smacked Sam right in the gut and his breath caught in his throat. He realized then why the angel was upset, it was all over his face. Hard, raw lust. Sam swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly wanting to cover his nudity from the randy angel. He was about to step out of the shower and grab the towel when Balthazar moved. Even without his powers, he was fast. Balthazar pinned him against the wet tile of the shower, his clothed body pushing up against Sam's naked flesh. Sam's heart fluttered and stomach clenched. Their eyes locked.

Then without warning, Balthazar covered his mouth with his. He gave Sam no chance to think- he just kissed him with a boldness that melted him to his toes. Sam's pulse leapt and his head began to spin. Balthazar swamped him with the sheer, visceral power of seduction and heat.

He roughly pushed Sam against the tiles, holding him there as his mouth greedily devoured him. The kiss turned bold to rough in seconds, as Balthazar's hand gripped the side of his face, fingers digging into his flesh. Sam felt his resistance suddenly spring to life, not liking that Balthazar surprised him with the kiss or that he responded to it so easily.

Sam pushed his face away, only making Balthazar's lips move from his mouth to his neck and begin to suck on his skin frantically. Sam grunted and slipped a hand over Balthazar's shoulder to push him back when suddenly he felt his cock being stroked by a firm, sure hand. Sam moaned wantonly, breathless with the edgy need that now held him. Balthazar touched his body possessively, one hand holding him against the wall then traveling over his muscled chest and nipples, while the other pulled on Sam's growing erection. Sam's cock throbbed and pulsated in the angel's hand.

Balthazar continued to suck on his neck, and then Sam felt the sharp sting of pain as the angel bit him, which he soothed with his tongue. Sam arched his hips upwards, jerking against the tug and pull of his cock. Balthazar hummed. His voice was unsteady and husky as he whispered against the shell of his ear, "I wanted this last night, Sam." His tongue dipped into his ear, teasingly. "I want to fuck you, darling… I've wanted to for so bloody long." His hand stroked upwards over his manhood to the tip and pressed down over his slit, Sam groaned loudly, which Balthazar smothered with his hand.

Panting, Sam opened his mouth to retort but Balthazar slipped his finger inside. Balthazar pressed ruthlessly over and over the tip of his cock, pushing Sam's so close to the edge. He jerked and spasmed, his body tensing with each teasing movement of the angel's hand.

Sam's fingers dug into Balthazar shoulder, wanting to release. Balthazar turned his head and their eyes locked again. The sexual heat between them was palpable. Balthazar's lips hovered tauntingly over his, he slid his finger out and trailed it over to Sam's butt, gripping it then slapping it roughly, nearly making Sam burst. Balthazar's eyes were heavy with lust as he watched Sam squirm and gasp beneath him.

"Cum for me, darling…" Balthazar demanded huskily.

Sam moaned again, this time, Balthazar captured it with his mouth and devoured him whole, his tongue conquering his mouth thoroughly. Sam breathed frantically through his nose, gasping when Balthazar pulled back and began pumping his cock faster and faster. Balthazar's beautiful eyes never left his as Sam finally reached climax. He groaned, his cock erupting in the angel's wonderfully talented hand.

Weak limbed, Sam leaned heavily against the tile, his body exhausted completely. Balthazar was on him then, caressing his flesh, tonguing his neck. Overwhelming sensations gripped Sam, as he let Balthazar consume him. He loved the smell of him, he breathed in his musky scent, titling his face into his hair as the angel kissed his sensitive neck. He felt the hard arousal of Balthazar's manhood press against his stomach then. He was harder than a rock and his bulge seemed almost painful trapped in his jeans.

Sam reached between them and grasped the angel's aching cock. Balthazar moaned out weakly, the sound arousing Sam's senses. Hearing the strong, powerful angel gasp and moan, made Sam want to hear more. He wanted to be the one that left Balthazar breathless and needy. After the realization that Balthazar had wanted him just as badly, nearly undid Sam then, but he had held on desperately, wanting to feel all the things that the angel wanted to do with him.

Now he wanted to return the favor. He moved his hands down the contours of Balthazar's muscled back and to his ass, grabbing his cheeks with both hands. The angel sighed, burying his face into his neck and rocking his hips upwards to rub himself against Sam. Sam trembled at the knowledge that he could make Balthazar just as needy.

He pushed Balthazar against him again, this time harder, pushing his cock against him, hands gripping his ass. The angel began humping wildly then. Sam suddenly changed positions, turning around, pushing Balthazar against the tiles and him in front. Balthazar's beautiful blue eyes were foggy with arousal. Unable to resist, Sam dipped his face and captured his supple lips. He heard Balthazar moan lowly from his throat as his mouth opened for Sam's tongue. He tasted all of him, but still he wanted more.

Sam pulled away, Balthazar's lips raw from their kisses. He thumbed his lower lip teasingly.

Balthazar watched him under heavy eyelids, "What are you going to do to me, darling?"

The way Balthazar purred out his endearment, made Sam's insides warm. He smiled softly at the aroused angel, "What you did to me…"

He trailed off as he dropped to his knees and unzipped Balthazar's jeans. Balthazar titled his head back against the tile and let out a strangled gasp. He lowered his jeans until his hard arousal was free, throbbing deliciously. Sam wet his lips and took all of the angel's manhood in his mouth. Balthazar jerked instantly, his hands running through Sam's hair, his fingers digging into his scalp. Sam fisted his hands at the base of the angel's cock, twisting and turning, knowing what men liked since he himself did this on occasion with his own cock. Balthazar groaned softly, whimpering as Sam suckled him and tongued him.

It didn't take long for Balthazar to climax since he was already so close before Sam got on his knees. When he did, he bucked uncontrollably, his body tensing as his cock swelled and burst. Sam sucked harder then, draining him completely. Balthazar's body suddenly became weak and nearly dropped as Sam sucked until his cock grew limp. Feeling triumphant, Sam released him and stood. The moment he did, Balthazar leaned heavily against the tile, sedated. Sam had dominated him and loved the submission he saw on his face. It thrilled him. Balthazar had always been the cocky, arrogant one. Now it was Sam's turn to flip the table on him.

Balthazar finally opened his eyes, "bloody'ell, Sam…" He smiled lazily, "you really know how to show a girl a good time."

Sam just gazed over him, still in shock that Balthazar had come on so strongly.

Balthazar's eyes traveled over his neck, "Didn't mean to get so rough…"

Sam touched the spot on his neck and hissed out in pain. "Damn," he grumbled and shot him a hard look. "Did you have to bite me?"

Balthazar licked his lips, "I wanted to fuck you, but we didn't get that far." He smiled and stepped towards him, his hand sliding down his chest all the way to his cock. Sam sighed, his semi-hard on starting to get harder. "Next time we will…" he said promisingly and left the shower.

Sam followed him, glancing at his neck in the mirror. Hiding that hickey would be difficult. "I didn't realize you wanted me this badly, Balthazar."He teased lightly, meeting his eyes through the mirror.

"A boy's gotta have some mystery." He retorted smartly.

Sam chuckled, "Right- like angel's aren't already mysterious enough."

Balthazar stilled, his eyes turning to stone. "I'm not an angel anymore."

Sam turned to him then, "Yes you are." He stated firmly. "Just because you don't have your…" he paused, "mojo or grace or whatever- it doesn't make you any less of an angel."

"That's where your wrong, Sam darling." He muttered, "I'm not less of an angel- I'm simply _not_ an angel."  
>Sam sadly watched as Balthazar slipped out the bathroom door without another word. Sam knew he couldn't restore Balthazar's faith in himself. He knew what it was like from being powerful one minute and helpless the next. He empathized with the angel. But all he could do was help him find his grace and return him to his rightful state of being- an angel of the Lord. Even if he wasn't a very good one.<p>

Sam smiled softly to himself, still unable to believe what he just shared with Balthazar and wondering when he can do it again. His heart raced in anticipation already.

_**TBC**_


	6. Ch 6: God's Miracle

**Chapter 6: God's Miracle**

Balthazar stood at the edge of Lawrence River, his gaze traveling over the muddy banks and wondering how the Hell he manage to pop out of Purgatory and end up here- of all places?

Jackson stood besides him, his eyes intent and dark, like his brother's. Sam sat inside the rental car, pecking away at his laptop for current news stories on weird events happening in this area.

"Why do you think those demons were after you?" Jackson asked him curiously. His eyes and face were similar to Dr. Fick, though his physical appearance reminded him of Bobby. After years of fighting and hunting, the body pushed to its natural limits began to show. He had a slight beer gut and wore clothes older than Sam. Yet he had that easy going air about him that Balthazar responded to. Just like Fick. The brothers, though very different in terms of career choices, had the same attitude and respect for life.

Balthazar shrugged indifferently at the older hunter, "Purgatory- I assume anyway. They did try to beat the information out of me." Jackson sent him a startled look. Balthazar smiled slyly at him, "So cliché- I know."

"Demons," Jackson grumbled a curse, "Good for nothin' sons-of-bitches."

"Well, they had a reason to be interested in lil'old me- I suppose. I just happen to plop out of Purgatory not too long ago. You know what they say about these kinds of deals- location, location, location."

Jackson's weathered face grew younger with amusement. "You have an odd sense of humor." He commented drily.

"I've been around for century's ol'boy. If you can't laugh at the little things, then really- what's the point?"

Jackson didn't seem convinced, "I guess. Though gettin' my ass handed to me doesn't sound very funny."

Balthazar chuckled then, "No- I suppose not." He hesitated though at the thought. He wouldn't have gone through any of that if he still had his grace. But it was lost to him now. He either had to find it soon or accept that it was gone- forever.

A chill swept over him. He moved deeper into his jacket, wrapping it tightly around his body. The strong scent of Sam Winchester suddenly filled his nose. He wore one of the Sam's jackets. He smiled softly to himself, reveling in the musky scent of his hunter. His hunter, he thought in slight shock. Balthazar was never one for attachment. And if he did, it wasn't to anyone for very long. Yet something about Sam made Balthazar want to stick around and wear his clothes.

He tried not to over think it though. They were simply working on finding his grace together and sharing the occasional showers, he thought with a cocky smirk, aside from that- it was business, not pleasure. Well, he pondered, not too much pleasure anyway. He didn't want to get caught up on how absolutely amazing their time together had been to forget the real reason Sam was there- to find his grace.

Balthazar suspected Sam felt guilty about his little fall into Purgatory. Sam probably saw it as a failure and he had to repay that debt- hence his current presence. It had nothing to do with Balthazar himself. He knew he was a manipulative, arrogant bastard and Sam was the wholesome, trustworthy hunter. Sam couldn't possibly like him- let alone want to spend time with him voluntarily. Besides now that Balthazar was mortal, he was useless to the hunter now. Before he could use his powers and give assistance, if he felt like it, now he couldn't even pull a rabbit out of a hat if his life depended on it.

He stared blankly at the un-helpful river banks, feeling glum. No sign of a supernatural element and to be honest, without his powers, all he saw was muddy water.

"Hey- I think I found something," Sam's voice rang out from behind them. Jackson and Balthazar headed back to the rental car.

Balthazar gazed over the screen in Sam's hands and then grimaced, "You can't be serious?" he tried not to sound too disgusted but he couldn't help it.

"I know…" Sam began imploringly, "But it's worth checking out."

Jackson's frown creased his whole face, "I agree with Balthazar- that's a bit of a stretch, don't'ya think?"

"Well, if Balthazar was found here- his grace can't be too far away. I'm assuming that is- that you didn't fall to the earth but rather showed up. So why can't your grace do the same?"

Balthazar mimicked Jackson's classic frown. "Fine- I'll go, but if I have to sing- I'll smite myself and save us the trouble of finding my damn grace."

* * *

><p>The park was flooded with people. Balthazar stared at the gathering crowds, dumbstruck. He turned to Sam, "Are you sure this is the place?"<p>

Sam seemed to be just as baffled, "Yeah- this is where they said the bright light came from two weeks ago."

"Bright light…? They don't have a better description then that?" Jackson asked.

"That's all it says…" Sam glanced down at the newspaper article he had pulled up on his phone and read aloud, "mysterious bright light illuminates the Crescent City Park at midnight. Authorities have yet determined what caused the light's appearance." He glanced back to them, "That was dated a few days before you showed up."

"You think it's possible his grace arrived before he did?" Jackson asked baffled.

"I don't know- anything's possible. We don't know what happened to the grace- only that this was the only supernatural occurrence to take place in the area in the past two weeks. Other than that, I've got nothing."

Balthazar puffed out a breath, wondering if his grace was in the throng of people. His eyes surveyed over the open field park and noticed a large, circus like white tent in the center. "Well boys, seeing as we're already here," Balthazar gestured towards the people heading towards the tent, "we might as well join the crowd, eh?"

Balthazar, Sam and Jackson made their way through the sea of people. The tent was rather large and almost foreboding when they approached. On the side of it was painted the words, "God's Bright Miracle".

"I guess this is the place…" Sam mumbled, yet seemed hesitant to go inside.

Balthazar hummed in agreement, people watching. The majority seemed injured, sick or elderly. And most of them were carrying their Sunday Bibles or wearing crucifixes around their neck to symbolize their faith in God.

"Interesting crowd," Jackson commented.

"Yes, I was thinking as much," Balthazar replied.

Jackson blinked, and then retorted dully, "Right… as long as I don't have to confess my sins, I think I'll be okay." He straightened his jacket, tucking his gun further inside his jeans.

Sam shuffled forward with the crowd, "Just try to act normal."

Balthazar cocked an eyebrow, "Should I limp then?"

Jackson chuckled. Sam ignored his comment, walking into the tent ahead of them.

Balthazar had the absurd urge to smack Sam's beautiful, well-toned ass just to see how his hunter would react to that one "Normal- I can do that," he toted proudly to Jackson.

"Well I can't, not for very long at least," Jackson admitted. "I never was any good at lyin'."

"How could you possibly be a successful hunter? Lying seems to be part of the job." Balthazar asked him.

"I dunno- luck, I guess. Just hopin' my luck stays with me," he muttered, as the crowds of people swarmed inside the tent for the morning park sermon.

"Oh darling, don't sound so pessimistic." Balthazar said with a grin, though hesitated when they stepped inside and spotted the giant wooden cross in the center of the tent. That's not intimidating, Balthazar thought dully. His eyes traveled over to the stage, where a large podium stood center stage with a beautifully painted mural of golden haired angels, dancing and playing in the clouds of Heaven behind it.

"I'm sure we'll fit right in…" Balthazar said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sam glanced over his should, a soft, coy smile on his lips, "So that's what you guys do up there."

Balthazar titled his head, curiously studying the angels from a safe distance. "No- I was more the brooding Nicolas Cage type and stood on rooftops and spied on people in the shower."

Sam's mocking smile faded as a light tint of a blush crept over his handsome features. A brief moment of glee filled Balthazar. The hunter averted his gaze quickly.

"I didn't like that movie, personally." Jackson commented on the City of Angels movie, completely unaware of the flushed, uncomfortable hunter ahead of him. "Didn't like that she had to die in the end, especially after he did _all_ that to get her." Jackson shook his head in disbelief.

"Hollywood," Balthazar muttered in mock disgust, "They can't seem to get their angels right apparently."

The cautiously stepped forward into the tent.

"What exactly are we looking for anyway?" Jackson asked.

"Anything suspicious… or out of the ordinary." Sam replied.

"I've already seen some suspicious hats, personally. A few that would put the Royal family to shame." Balthazar remarked, eyeing a hideously decorated daisy antique hat that clung to life like the woman who wore it.

"Seriously…" Sam snapped over his shoulder. Balthazar mouthed the word, 'killjoy' but knew Sam was right.

People around them began to take their seats, the anticipation beginning to fill the tent. Balthazar, Sam and Jackson took their seat in the middle, trying to blend in.

Balthazar eyeballed every person he could. But really it was to no avail, until he knew what he was looking for, finding his grace in their crowd would be finding a needle in a haystack at this point.

Suddenly a beautiful woman, dressed in a simple black dress walked down the main aisle, right past his seat. Something inside his chest yawned open and his soul reached out for something unknown.

His eyes locked onto the woman. Her dark hair was pinned up in a severe bun, her dress was loose and worn old fashion like, not curve hugging or tight. Her face was plain, yet striking. Her heels sunk into the soft earth of the ground as she walked past. Everything about her seemed ordinary, plain and boring. Except for the necklace she wore. It was a stone of some sort. It glowed with a stunning bright, white light. Balthazar couldn't take his eyes off it.

The moment she walked past his seat, the stone amulet she wore around her neck, shinned brightly. His grace recognized him. Balthazar knew it was his grace the moment she walked by. He felt the power of it fill him for only a brief second as it fluttered by. He yearned to jump to his feet and go to her, rip the stone off her neck and embrace himself into the full blown power of Heaven. But he couldn't- not yet.

"That was it," Balthazar breathed to Sam.

Sam moved his eyes to the direction of the woman and nodded the moment he saw her shining necklace.

"I saw it glow when she walked past us," Jackson said in awe.

"It saw me," Balthazar explained tightly, desperately wanting to take back what was lost to him.

Jackson frowned, "sounds creepy when you say it like that."

"We have to get it," Balthazar breathed out, the restlessness beginning to take hold.

Suddenly a soft, comforting hand covered his and warm brown eyes locked onto him. "We can't risk snatching her here. We still don't know who sent those demons for you and if she is capable…" Sam hesitated grimly, "she might be using your grace somehow."

Balthazar snorted in disbelief, "Impossible."

"Hush, it's starting." Jackson said besides them as the whole tent filled with silence.

A large man, dressed in ceremonial black strode onto the stage, carrying a Bible in his hand. The woman with the stone necklace stood behind him as he gripped the podium and looked out onto the crowd that had gathered. His face was hard and his eyes bright with intensity, his voice was loud and boomed over the sea of people. "Brothers and sisters, thank you for coming out on this joyous occasion. I know why you're all here…"

The man's charisma gripped the room with anticipation when he paused.

"My name is Father Frank Renner and I've never, in my twenty years of service to the Lord seen a miracle like my daughter Rose."

Sudden applause broke out over the crowds. Balthazar and Sam exchanged worried looks.

"My daughter Rose has harshness the healing powers of the Lord and today she wants to share that gift with you- our fellow believers in God Almighty!" He bellowed out, his arms outstretched and stance sure. His daughter, Rose, smiled proudly at her father.

His voice broke over yet another round of applause, "Are you sick? Are you hurt? Do you need your love and support restored into our Lord Jesus?"

More applause, the crowd growing anxious with excitement. Balthazar felt his gut clench uncomfortably. "Angels do more than healing, Sam." He hissed out. "What if she has tapped into all my powers? We won't be able to stop her."

Sam stared determinedly at Rose, his face etched in concentration. "If we get close enough to get that necklace off of her- we might have a chance."

Balthazar looked back to the necklace. Fear was never one of his better emotions and at the moment, staring up at that stage, powerless and useless, he felt that fear. "I can't get close to her without it glowing. Jackson or you will have to go."

Sam nodded in understanding.

"I'll go," Jackson volunteered.

"No," Sam whispered, "You gotten us this far, Jackson. Let me do this."

Jackson frowned, but after a brief moment gave a resentful nod of consent. "How are you gonna get up there?"

Balthazar stared at Sam, his fear suddenly peeking.

"I'll be sick," Sam muttered and stood when the preacher shouted out, "who needs to be healed today?"

Balthazar desperately wanted to yank Sam back down and keep him there. But he knew he couldn't. Sam was determined and bloody hell, he was being his hero-self for him- again. Balthazar stewed furiously, wondering how he could possibly help without his own grace calling him out. He suddenly stood besides Sam. The hunter shot him a warning look, but he just shrugged it off as he replied silkily, "You'll need a good salesman, Sam."

Sam narrowed his eyes suspiciously, and then with a glint in his eyes, he smiled.

* * *

><p>After some seriously smooth talking from Balthazar, Sam was next in line for the healing powers of Rose. His eyes locked on the glowing orb necklace, praying that it was Balthazar's grace trapped inside. He took a deep, calming breath. It would be less nerve-wracking if there weren't a hundred people staring up at him on stage. If he saw his chance to snatch the necklace- he would take it, without hesitation. Even if it meant being pummeled my Father Daddy Rose who was just as large as Sam.<p>

The older man in front of Sam stepped forward to Rose. She stared down at him, her face soft and compassionate as she gazed into the old man's eyes. Sam watched as the necklace glowed that bright angelic white and the crippled man in front of him, suddenly straightened, a broad smile dancing on his features. He laughed heartily and touched his chest. Her soft, tentative smile remained as Father Renner and the crowd roared in applause and cheers.

Sam stepped up, it was his turn now. His gaze wavered slightly to Balthazar. He winked at him, though he could tell the former angel was tense. Sam was doing this for him- he just hoped he didn't fail him, again.

Father Renner smiled at Sam and placed a tender hand on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you came out today, son. Just put your faith into the Lord and Rose…" his voice was strong and sure, believing fully in his daughter's unnatural abilities. "Let her love and healing strength command you."

Father Renner bowed his head prayer. Sam followed suit, pretending to pray, though his eyes were locked on the girl's necklace. Rose's dark eyes surveyed him, she cautiously stepped forward and was about to lay her hand on his temple when she hesitated.

Sam focused his concentration. He was only inches away from the necklace, preparing himself to grab it. But suddenly, it dazzled in front of him. The whole room of people let out a gasp. It shined so brightly, Sam had to shut his eyes against the light.

Rose stepped back, startled. Sam reached out but the moment his hand gripped the necklace, a warmth spread through him, engulfing him. It felt like he was being healed from the inside out at first. The warmth spread through his fingertips, down to his toes. He gasped, clutching the grace in his hand, his mind telling him to rip it away from her, but his body wouldn't obey. He was consumed in sensations he had never experienced before as the energy changed from healing to- emotion. It felt like pure, wonderful… happiness- all in the palm of his hand. He didn't understand it. Only that he never wanted to stop touching it.

It suddenly overwhelmed him and Sam dropped to his knees. He heard Balthazar's voice cry out his name and Sam's heart surged. The white light of the grace did too. The light grew, unstoppably and blinding. He kept his closed tightly, letting the love of the grace fill him. His moment with Balthazar suddenly filled his mind. He could taste the angel's lips against his kiss, hear his sweet voice, touch his soft skin… it was perfect. His heart beat wildly, remembering every detail of their shared kisses with perfect clarity. It was as if the grace was bringing that moment he shared with Balthazar forward, making him feel every emotion he felt, wrapped in the arms of his angel.

Suddenly the surging white light pulsated and his hand burned. Sam cried out and he was thrown backwards into the air with an invisible force.

Balthazar's grace slipped right out of his hand as he spun through the air and landed with a hard thud to the ground. Remnants of the grace fluttered through his entire body. His soul seemed to hum with pure love and joy. But it was overpowering to his mind and the only thing he could do to resist- was shut off. Sam drifted off into darkness, unconscious.

_**TBC**_


	7. Ch 7: Feverish

**Chapter 7: Feverish**

Sam awoke with a blinding headache. He groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. It felt like he had a hangover and Sam rarely drank, so whenever he had one too many the night before, it wasn't pretty.

"Sam," said that wonderfully rich, British accented voice.

"Yeah," he grumbled, unwilling to open his eyes, though his stomach fluttered at the sound of that voice.

"Are you all right, darling?" Balthazar's voice seemed anxious with concern.

Sam sighed, holding his head, slowly opening his eyes. Balthazar stood above him, his face etched in worry. Sam grunted, the light from the bedroom seemed piercing, "Yeah… I'll live." His eyes locked onto the light blue eyes of Balthazar and a sudden desire curled through him. He had the unexplainable yearning to run his fingers through Balthazar's short blond hair and over his handsome, chiseled face.

"Good," Jackson rumbled from a distance. Sam gaze shot over to the hunter. "We thought you were done for the moment that light went through you."

"Went through me?" Sam asked, perplexed. He vaguely remembered being thrown through the air from the force of the light, but not having it go through him. He sat up suddenly, which was a bad idea. He wavered and his head felt on the urge of exploding. Balthazar moved to assist him, holding him against the baseboard of the bed to support him. His supportive hand on his shoulder seemed to burn through his shirt and mold into his flesh.

Sam breathed in a deep breath, his lungs filling with Balthazar's scent and needing suddenly much more of it. The desire to taste him, feverishly gripped him. Sam never recalled needing someone this badly, except when he was a randy teenager. So why was it happening to him now?

"I've never seen anything like that, Sam." Balthazar said gravely besides him, "I thought my grace killed you."

Sam heard the guilt in the former angel's voice. He felt a tingling in the palm of his hand and glanced down at his open hand. It was red and slightly swollen, as if he held onto something hot for too long, though it wasn't painful.

"What exactly did happen?" Jackson asked him.

Sam turned to the hunter, feeling Balthazar's searching gaze burn into him. He hesitated a moment, not sure he should tell the whole truth. He wasn't even sure exactly what happened. Only that he had experienced something special. He touched Balthazar's grace, and it responded to him. It recognized him, like Balthazar had said when they were at the tent. Sam couldn't explain it. He just knew it. The grace felt him, touched his soul somehow. The grace replayed the moment he had shared with Balthazar in the shower, their kisses, their intense need for one another…

Suddenly Sam's body grew uncomfortably warm all over and his heart raced. The residual effects of the grace must still be lingering in his body. That could explain his feverish need to take and consume Balthazar. Just the idea of tasting Balthazar flesh, made his stomach clench and his muscles tighten.

"I dunno…" Sam breathed out, shifting uncomfortably on the bed, his cock suddenly swelling. "Hey, Jackson can you go get me something to eat. I'm starving."

Jackson eyed him suspiciously for a moment then nodded and stood. "Yeah, sure." He grabbed the rental keys off the table, "food sounds good anyway. We're low on beer too," he said with a smirk, "I'll pick some up."He left a moment later, keys and wallet in hand.

The second the door was closed behind him, Sam felt relieved. He didn't want Jackson to see what he was about to do.

Balthazar's eyes narrowed, "What's wrong?" He stared down at him, confused. Sam gazed over him, longingly. His body throbbed with ache and an overwhelming want to take him. He never felt this hungry for anyone before in his life and seeing Balthazar, standing there, in his dark v-neck shirt, tight jeans and Sam's jacket, was arousing as hell.

He gulped. Sam vaguely realized that these emotions were from the grace, not from him. Or were they? All he knew was that whatever he felt from that grace in the tent was something powerful and real. And all-consuming. Now it seemed to grip him with that same exciting power.

Sam forgot all about his headache as he shifted onto his knees on the bed. Balthazar straightened. He must have seen something change in Sam's face because he nearly took a step back. But Sam stopped him. With a swift move of his hand, Sam gripped the back of Balthazar's neck and pulled him forward with a strong arm. Balthazar fought momentarily, still unsure. But the moment Sam's lips found his, Balthazar froze. Sam devoured his plaintive lips, not caring he wasn't responding, because he knew it was only a matter of time before the passion inside his angel would open for him and they would burn each other up from their sizzling heat.

"Sam…" Balthazar breathed out between their torrid kisses.

Sam hummed from the back of his throat, his mouth parting Balthazar's lips and slipping his tongue inside his warmth. Balthazar let out a surprise groan as Sam began wildly tasting him, his lips consuming his with hard lust. Sam grip tightened around his neck, feeling his muscles flex beneath his grasp. "Sam…" Balthazar insisted more this time, pulling back from the kiss. "What are you doing…?"

"Trying to seduce you," Sam whispered then engulfed Balthazar in his arms and with one strong pull, had them toppling onto the bed.

Sam's cock ached deliciously between his thighs as he held himself above Balthazar. Beautiful blue eyes stared up at him in shock, "Are you serious?"

Sam smiled seductively down at him, licking his lower lip, as he pressed his erection into the man he pinned down on the mattress. "Deadly…" he hissed out and with an open, hot kiss, took Balthazar's lips again, this time letting the fire that had been brewing in the pit of his belly, burn through him.

* * *

><p>Balthazar shivered at the implication of Sam's words. He was seducing him? Balthazar reeled, loving how the hunter dominated him completely, holding him down on the bed with those muscled arms and the lustful drive of his lips on his. Balthazar was seeing, right before his eyes, Sam's control slip away. This is what Balthazar had wanted all along. Yet there was something odd about the way Sam needed him. What had his grace done to the hunter? Suddenly Sam's erection ground into his belly, and all thoughts vanished. Balthazar knew he would have to drill Sam with questions later- but at the moment, he just wanted to drill him.<p>

He opened his mouth to Sam's persistent kisses, succumbing to him. But Balthazar nearly froze again when Sam's hand moved up and cupped him intimately. Balthazar tried to stop the small gasp of pleasure escaping his lips, but to no avail. His strong, sure hand fondled him through his jeans, making him painfully hard and throbbing. Balthazar's body responded too eagerly to the feel of his touch but he didn't care. Sam was bent on seduction and he wasn't going to stop him.

He felt the vibration of the zipper on his jeans and Sam's knowledgeable hands begin to take control. He lowered his jeans off his waist and legs. Balthazar madly pulled off his shirt and flung it to the side, kicking his boots off and reaching for Sam's shirt. Sam complied and discarded his clothes quickly until they were both naked on the bed. Sam still held himself above him. His brown hair mussed and breathing frantic, his cock full and pulsating.

Balthazar felt a shiver of need race through him. Sam was utterly breath-taking. Balthazar pushed the fallen strains of hair off of Sam's face, running his fingers through his soft hair. Sam's eyes were heavy with desire, staring at him with the same longing that he felt.

Sam's brown eyes stayed focused on him as he lower his body and brushed his cock slowly over Balthazar's. He groaned, his hips bucking upwards to feel more of Sam's hardness. Sam smiled at this before dipping his head and capturing Balthazar's nipple with his mouth, rolling his tongue over the sensitive nub. Balthazar jerked his hips forward again, this time their cocks rocking against each other. He gripped Sam's head to his chest, the muscles in his legs flexing, as their cocks humped onto one another, the friction building. Suddenly Sam bit down on his nipple and ranked his nails down the side of his chest, causing Balthazar to tense and hiss out in pain.

Sam then pushed forward brutally with his erection, branding himself onto his flesh. He did it over and over, each time harder, his body heavy on top of his. Balthazar bit down on his lower lip, feeling the pleasure in his cock grow to a feverish pitch, guiding him to the edge of madness.

Sam moved then, spreading Balthazar's legs open with his own, until he was utterly vulnerable and open to the hunter. His body had wanted this for so long that it didn't matter what Sam did, as long as it was Sam, his hunter. Sam reached between them and stroked his cock, grabbing him from the base and pulling all the way up to the tip with a slow, firm grip. Balthazar throbbed, unable to remember a time when he felt like this before with someone.

The hunter pulled back for a moment, reaching for the nightstand table and pulling out lube. Balthazar's mind was frayed with heat. All he saw was the gloriously built hunter's muscled body. He was built like a Greek God. All rippling muscles and long, towering cock. He watched, tantalized at Sam's movements as he knelt between his legs, with a palm full of lube as he stroked his cock thoroughly. Balthazar felt feverish and weak with desire watching him.

Sam smiled lustfully down at him. Still on his knees, he reached down and grabbed Balthazar's cock and stroked him with the same hand, lubing him. Balthazar nearly came. Sam continued to pull him with a slick hand even though Balthazar writhed and panted out hot, anxious breaths. He toyed with the tip of his erection, pushing down on the slit and rubbing him until he bucked uncontrollably.

"Bloody'ell, Sam!" Balthazar croaked out.

Sam did it harder this time, making Balthazar shot upwards and pull his hand away with a vicious shove. Excitement flared in Sam's eyes as he surged forward and captured Balthazar's lips harshly. They both fought for dominance now, teeth clashing, lips fighting. It was a brutal kiss that left Balthazar feeling more excited and lustful than ever before.

His hand traveled down the length of Sam's back and then to that perfectly toned ass. He squeezed him roughly, and then pushed his own cock into his ferociously. It was Sam's turn to gasp, as he rocked forward, their cocks touching. Suddenly after a minute of frantic ass grabbing and mindless humping, Sam pushed Balthazar back down on the bed and lowered himself beneath him, his arousal touching his entrance.

Balthazar barely took a breath to prepare himself when Sam surged forward. They were flesh to flesh, chest to chest, stomach to stomach. Sam's breath was warm on the side of Balthazar's face, as he flexed inside of him, evidently enjoying the heat of Balthazar's body. He tried not to tense and allow all of Sam's towering erection inside him, but he was rather a large boy.

Suddenly Sam pushed forward again this time deeper and harder, making Balthazar gasp out loud in pleasure. Every stroke became agonizingly delightful. He moaned when Sam pulled out, desperately wanting to pull him back. It was as if he was driving heat into him and it was spreading like wildfire. Uncontrollable. Burning down every one of his defenses and barriers around his heart.

Sam laced his hands with his as he surged upwards, thrusting into him. Balthazar heard Sam's soft moan from his lips, as he suddenly began to lose control and his movements became wild and frenzied. Balthazar's cock swelled, reveling in the sounds of his gasping sighs. Sam pounded into him, gaining speed, close to losing all control. Balthazar could only hang on and let the hunter ride him. He felt the tip of his lubed cock swell between them, near the point of bursting. Balthazar reached out and brought the hunter's lips against his own. They kissed. Both moaning and near climax. Sam greedily devoured his mouth but suddenly tensed, as his hips drove forward for one final thrust. Sam orgasmed, his face beautifully taunt in ecstasy when he came.

Balthazar's grip tightened in Sam's hand as he too suddenly felt the tingle shoot up his groin. He let out a long mewing groan as an orgasm crashed through him like rolling thunder. His body had wanted this with Sam for a long time and was determined to keep the orgasm going for as long as it could, fighting his need for control, sweeping him and holding him in a haze of pleasure until he thought he would die from not breathing. Sam slumped on top of him, his body still giving him small spasms of lingering pleasure.

Sam took a shaking breath and rolled to his side. Balthazar stared up at the ceiling in slight shock and warm sedition. He had just been gloriously fucked and all he could think about… was doing it again, again and again. He hadn't expected Sam to be the one who took the initiative. But here he was, naked with the hunter besides him, both thoroughly exhausted.

"Well, darling…" he said in a husky voice, "I must say- that was unexpected."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah- I'm sorry…"

Balthazar glanced over to him, smiling teasingly. "Please, I've been waiting for that for a while. What we did in the shower was fun, but this…" he sighed, his body humming with delight. "This was so much better."

Sam glanced at him, his eyes soft and vulnerable.

Balthazar felt a change in the hunter then. Sam moved and was on top of him again, their bodies sliding easily off each other as he kissed him. Balthazar felt his heart soar. This kiss was different from all the others. It was intimate and breath-taking. He ran his fingers through his soft hair, melting into the kiss. Sam's kiss was tender and lovingly soft. Balthazar couldn't bare it. His heart beat rapidly, his breathing choppy as he let the hunter thoroughly kiss him.

Sam pulled back, eyes shining brightly with contentment.

Balthazar traced the side of his face, "What did my grace do to you, Sam?"

He saw the hesitation in Sam's eyes. He sat up then, leaving their embrace. Balthazar went with him, determined to keep this intimacy between them. Sam averted his gaze, closing himself off.

Balthazar needed to know. "Sam…"

Sam finally relented, though reluctantly. "I think your grace knew me."

He hesitated, confused. "Knew you? How?"

"I can't explain it…" Sam said, just as confused. "Somehow it recognized me and filled me with such…" he stopped again.

"What?"

Sam suddenly seemed embarrassed and ran a hand through his hair. He exhaled and finally said, "Love, Balthazar. I felt loved."

He reeled. His grace filled Sam with emotions of love? He couldn't believe it. Balthazar didn't know what to think, only that if what Sam said was true… No, he thought suddenly and got off the bed. He couldn't think that. He didn't love Sam. He couldn't. He was just a human. Balthazar was an immortal- an angel of the Lord. Well, he _was_ an angel of the Lord. He was just a powerless human now. He snatched his clothes off the floor and began dressing.

"Balthazar," Sam began. "It's all right- you don't have to be embarrassed."

Balthazar turned to him then, unexplainable anger shooting through him like fire. "Embarrassed?" he laughed cruelly. "I'm not embarrassed," he spat out.

Sam shifted on the bed, covering his nakedness with a sheet while Balthazar pulled on his jeans angrily. "So- what?" he asked, "What did I feel then when I touched your grace? Cause if that wasn't love…"

"It wasn't," Balthazar interrupted harshly. His gaze cold, "I don't love you."

Sam returned his cold stare, though Balthazar saw a flash of pain in those warm brown eyes.

"How could I love you, Sam? I don't even have my grace? I'm a weak- powerless human. I can't even accept myself at the moment, so how am I supposed to love you?"

Silence descended between them. Balthazar shrugged on his shirt and boots, feeling a cold hollowness fill his chest. Finally after a moment, Sam spoke. "You might not see it or feel it," he replied bitterly, "but your grace did."

Balthazar gazed at him helplessly, "My grace is not even a part of me now? Don't you get that?" Sam's heartfelt gaze was suddenly too much to bear. Balthazar needed to get away. He had to think about this. Alone. He angrily grabbed the jacket by the door and left the room. He couldn't be there anymore. He didn't want to see the pain in Sam's eyes or feel that emptiness in his heart.

The cold afternoon air touched his skin as Balthazar let his feet carry him off. Far and away from their motel room and more importantly, Sam.

**_TBC_**


	8. Ch 8: Smashed

**Chapter 8: Smashed**

Classic rock music blared obnoxiously loud when Balthazar first arrived in the dive bar. However, after several shots of whiskey and a few beers later, he didn't mind the music at all. Luckily Balthazar had the foresight to steal Sam's wallet before departing the motel. Thanks to Sam, Balthazar was happily drunk and enjoying his spoils of the evening.

He had been morose when he had arrived. Balthazar had walked for what felt like ages until he came across this lovely establishment which served endless amount of liquor and peanuts.

He tried desperately to forget Sam's hurt expression and the nasty things he said to his hunter all evening. Balthazar knew he had been cruel to him. Now he just wanted to wallow in self-pity and drink away his feelings.

He wanted to forget what they shared together. The beautiful, unforgettable, breath-taking moment of bliss they experienced while wrapped in each other's arms. He had never felt this way towards a human before. Sure, Balthazar toyed with other humans since his departure from Heaven. He had countless women and the occasional man, but never did he experience the burn and excitement he felt between Sam and him. In Balthazar's haze of drunkenness, images of his Greek God hunter flashed before him, naked and absolutely beautiful.

It had been so hot between them that he still burned from the inside out with the sensation of Sam's flesh scorched against his own and his taste lingering in his mouth. He had writhed uncontrollably as Sam brought him to climax with such power and intensity it shook him to his core. He did want Sam. He wanted him so badly his chest ached dully with the pain of pushing him away. But he couldn't admit loving him. It was too soon, too much.

Besides, Sam deserved better than a washed up, useless angel who had lost his grace. He deserved someone strong and powerful. Someone who could watch his back in the heat of battle. Someone who could protect and love him as an equal. Balthazar couldn't do any of that, he didn't even love who he had become. How could he expect himself to love Sam Winchester, the white knight and earthly warrior when he was a lowly, former angel, pathetic and utterly helpless now?

It was only after he consumed copious amounts of alcohol that all thoughts of Sam Winchester faded and continued to fade with each shot of whiskey.

He hummed in his beer when suddenly he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He glanced up from the bar to see a large man standing next to him with an evil smile on his face. Balthazar knew instantly. Just like he had in the hospital. Demon. Another demon moved to his other side and stood close to him, this one ugly and looming. "Angel," the first demon breathed out menacingly. "Come with us," he demanded coolly.

"'Ello' boys," Balthazar slurred out.

The demon narrowed his eyes, "You are to come with us, angel."

"Are you bloody serious?"Balthazar suddenly felt the anger and sadness he had been walking around with all day burn through his gut as he snapped, "Haven't you idiots heard? I'm no longer an angel."

The demon smirked, "We know." His fingers dug painfully into his shoulder, biting into his bone. Balthazar jerked away but only to be greeted on the other side of the stool by a knife in his gut.

"Time to go, angel." The demon holding the knife breathed menacingly.

Fear overwhelmed Balthazar then. Maybe he should've snagged Sam's gun instead of just his wallet, he thought dully. The demon kept a firm hand on Balthazar as they left the bar. Balthazar vaguely wondered if he would die tonight. Sam would have no idea he was kidnapped by a pack of idiots' demons, again. So Balthazar was on his own. He would have to survive.

Sam suddenly filled his hazy thoughts. Balthazar reeled when he realized that tonight might have been the last night he ever saw Sam. A horrible, gut-wrenching emotion surged inside him as he stumbled out of the bar and into a truck the demons had. He would never see his beloved hunter again. Because tonight, Balthazar knew he would die. He would not be this lucky the second time around with these demons.

Almost half an hour later they arrived at the Crescent City Park. Balthazar frowned, confused. The demon driving sped up and went barreling through the pitch black park with only the headlights to guide them through the trees.

The tent from this morning came into view then. It illuminated the darkness of the park surrounding them. The demon brought the truck to an abrupt stop and pushed Balthazar out along with the other demon with the knife. He stumbled, still quite drunk. The demon hulled him to his feet and propelled him forward into the entrance. "You know boys," Balthazar grumbled. "You should've found me sooner… I would've been less fun…" he hiccupped then sniggered.

The demon with the knife on his back chuckled harshly from behind him. "We had someone more important than you to pick up, angel."

Even in Balthazar's haze, he felt a chill race down his spine at the demon's words. The flap of the tent was thrown back and he was pushed roughly inside. Balthazar lost his balance and fell to his hands and knees. The grass felt soft and slightly damp under his hands. He breathed in the scent, trying to calm his swimming head.

"We're back!" announced one of the demon's loudly. "We have the angel."

Balthazar heard the click of high heels on hardwood. His eyes followed the source of the sound and instant shock overcame him. The pastor's daughter Rose, stood before him, dressed in her black dress and with her hair pulled back in a severe bun. And the necklace dangling from her neck. His grace. Anger began to boil under his skin.

She smiled coolly at the demons then turned her gaze to Balthazar on the ground.

"This one didn't put up much a fight," a demon said laughing from behind him.

"Yeah," the other demon chimed in. "Not like the other one."

Balthazar's gut clenched. His eyes stilled locked onto Rose. She lifted her hand and suddenly Balthazar felt his body rise from the ground with an invisible force. He gulped down the lump of fear that tightened in his throat as Rose brought him towards her, gliding through the air with ease. He moved down the aisle, passing the empty plastic chairs and wooden cross to the stage where she stood stone like and unreadable.

Balthazar wished suddenly he weren't absolutely drunk. It helped with his nerves sure, but he could barely hold a thought in his drunken brain for longer than a minute. Now he was about to confront the woman who held his grace hostage completely smashed.

Her fingers widened on her hand and Balthazar was stretched out like a ragdoll on full display for her. She didn't bring him too close, he realized then. Balthazar stared at the necklace, the stone flickered a light towards him. It recognized that its' true carrier was near. She must have sensed the draw as well.

Cautious, she stared at him. Balthazar's loose tongue finally gave into the impenetrable and disturbing silence between them. "Are we to have a staring contest then?" he asked slyly. "Cause I don't think I'll last very long, honey… I have a tendency to blink when I'm nervous." He smirked, "or drunk."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Finally the marble ice queen spoke, "You are Balthazar?"

He smiled broadly, "The one and only, sista."

She continued to hold her steady gaze, him suspended in the air. "You seem very cavalierly about your own death, angel." Her admittance to his demise sent another chill down his spine, though he snorted out a laugh.

"He's drunk," one of the demons announced. "We found him at a bar."

She nodded knowingly, then with another wave of her hand, Balthazar felt the haze lift from his mind. He was suddenly stone cold sober. He sighed, "I was enjoying that," he mumbled.

"You are not what I expected," She said unemotionally.

"You and me both, sweetheart." He replied.

She ignored his comment, "I had hoped for a warrior." The disappointment in her tone made the shimmering anger inside him boil and burn. "I expected…" she paused, searching for the word. Then with a shrug she said, "more."

A sneer of a smile pulled on his lips, "Don't let the accent fool you, honey- I am British."

One of the demons snorted from behind him, though all Rose did was arch one of her pretty eyebrows at him.

"Tell me where Purgatory is, angel and I might be merciful." She said icily.

"Really? I'm sorry- I'm confused. How will you be merciful? When you already admitted you plan on killing me tonight," He retorted. Then with a slight tilt to his head he asked, "Maybe you'll let me choose straws? Longest one means I live- shortest one means I go home with a slap on the fanny?"

Her eyes flared angrily. Then a sudden coolness melded over her expression as she turned slightly behind her, eyes darting toward the tent curtain and back to him. "I will show mercy for him," she flicked her opposite wrist and a demon came walking out from the curtain… with Sam.

His stomach dropped as he watched in horror as the demon drug Sam out, then pushed him viciously forward, making the hunter stumble to his knees to Rose's feet. Blood trickled down the corner of Sam's face, one of his eyes were swollen shut and his mouth was duck taped along with his wrists behind his back. Sam looked at Balthazar, the same fear he felt in his gut, swam in Sam's eyes.

Fury, all consuming, blinding rage overwhelmed Balthazar then. This bitch had messed his hunter and there will be Hell to pay for it. His eyes burned when he looked back towards her.

She smiled then, "Good- I see I have your attention now."

"What do you want?" he asked, barely holding his anger at bay.

"Power," she said easily. She bent to one knee and caressed the side of Sam's face, trailing a finger over the line of blood. Sam fought her touch, trying to pull away. She smiled coldly at him as Balthazar watched the blood recede from Sam's skull and vanish completely. She healed him. Balthazar felt momentarily relieved- but only for a second because Rose was not quite finished with Sam. Suddenly the blood returned, this time pouring from the wound. Sam whimpered in pain, the gaping wound opening wide, blood pooling around his face.

"You bitch," Balthazar seethed out.

"I want _power_, Balthazar." She explained, getting to her feet, letting Sam bleed out on the stage. "More power than what you're grace could ever give me."

"Go to Hell," Balthazar spat out, watching the life fade from Sam.

"I don't want Hell," she replied angrily. "I want Purgatory. And you're the one who's going to give it to me. Simply give me the location of Purgatory and I'll let your hunter live."

"I told your boys last time, you stupid cow, that I don't know where it is!"

"I knew you would be uncooperative," she replied. "Except I hadn't realized that you would so carelessly risk the life of your friend."

Suddenly Sam seized on the floor, his body began to writhe and he moaned lowly through the duck tape. Blood smeared over his handsome face. Balthazar's fury suddenly peaked, "You bloody witch! I'll kill you if hurt him, I swear I will!"

She laughed softly as Sam suddenly stopped seizing and whole body relaxed. She knelt over him again, trailing her hand through his rich brown hair. "You know, I thought he was the angel."

Balthazar fought the invisible bonds holding him. Burning with hatred as she dare lay a hand on his hunter.

"When he touched the stone last time, I thought it was him. He had come for his grace and planned on taking it from me," she breathed angrily. "That's why I sent for him first. He fought wonderfully against my demons. And when I met him, I was in awe. So powerful, so hard and so willing to die."

Balthazar stiffened.

"The stone responded to him just like before- filling him with life and strength." Her fingers hesitated in his hair as her gaze turned to Balthazar. "But he wasn't an angel. I felt it within the power of the stone." Her eyes were as lifeless and dark as a demon as she said, "Let's just say I had some fun with him anyway…" she smiled evilly. "It wasn't until after all the screaming and bleeding, that I listened to my pets." Her eyes gazed fondly over the demons. "They had been telling me all along that Sam wasn't an angel- I just hadn't believed it." She stood and laughed, "So that's when I decided to find you again. Trusting that they would bring me the true angel."

"What good dogs you have," he retorted, his eyes locking on the demon that held him at knife point. The demon narrowed his eyes as his jaw muscle flexed angrily.

Her smile became gleeful as if she had just unwrapped a birthday present. "Now that I have you- I can finally get what I want."

"You know what they say, be careful what you wish for. Or it might just bite you in the ass when you least expect it," Balthazar said trying to hold the airs of uncaring.

She laughed, "I doubt it. Purgatory is my gateway to power and glory."

"No darling, it's not." He felt sorry for the stupid woman then. She had no idea what she was really after. "It's an abyss of pure evil and monsters. If you ever find the location of Purgatory- it will swallow you whole, just like it did to me- powers and all."

She stiffened, then shrugged off his warning. "It won't happen to me."

"I can't wait till it happens to you."

Anger sparked in her eyes as she tightened her fist. A painful clenching sensation tore at his stomach and Balthazar cried out.

"You're wrong angel!" She lashed out, her fist tightening painfully against him.

Balthazar's eyes collided with hers. Her anger was getting the best of her now. Her attention was on him, not on Sam. If he could get her angry enough to put down her guard he might stand a chance.

He just had to keep poking the dragon until it roared. And be ready to take the heat. "I was an angel of the Lord and it still defeated me. What makes you so special, sweetie? Do you really think the abyss of evil cares if you are powerful? Or maybe it's just your ego telling you this?"

"How dare you!" She screamed and stepped forward to him, the painful squeezing of his insides growing stronger.

The stone that was his grace glowed then. The closer she came to him, the greater his chance of getting his grace. He just had to find a way to make her release her hold him.

Suddenly there was a guttural cry from behind him. Rose glanced behind him and her eyes widened in shock. "No…" she breathed out.

Balthazar heard another scream tear through someone's lungs echoing at his back and suddenly from behind Rose, the tent flap flipped open to reveal Jackson. The hunter held a knife in his hand and cautiously stepped over Sam. Sam rolled away to give the hunter more room to knife the bitch. Jackson's face was taunt and hard. Balthazar prayed she didn't turn around. Jackson reached the knifed hand out for the strap of the necklace.

Suddenly Rose's eyes flared and she spun on her heel. The moment she locked eyes with Jackson, she seethed angrily.

"Shit," Jackson grumbled before being flung into the air. The hunter went flipping through the air and out of the tent. Sam groaned weakly, fighting the bonds on his wrists now. Balthazar suddenly dropped from his suspended position in the air and fell to the ground. The wet earth soaked through his skin as he clenched the grass beneath him.

She had lost control of her powers becoming distracted. He glanced up just in time for her to pounce on him. Her eyes were bright with rage as she slapped him hard in the face with her invisible power. He went flying backwards across the grass and into the plastic chairs. He grunted and rolled away from one of the fallen chairs poking him in the side. Suddenly a warm hand came down on his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" a familiar voice asked.

Balthazar snapped his gaze to the voice and reeled back in surprise. "Dr. Fick?"

The gentle and caring face of Dr. Nate Fick hovered over him. His gaze moved back to the girl. "No time for pleasantries, Balthazar. You have a fight to finish."

Balthazar saw the courage in the doctor's eyes and felt it take hold in him as well. He nodded and got to his feet, with the good doctor behind him, gun in one hand and his crutch in the other.

"Do you really believe you can defeat me?" She asked, mocking him.

"No, actually I don't." He replied carelessly. "Though I'll keep my fingers crossed."

There was a loud grunt from behind him and Balthazar turned to see Dr. Fick wrestling with a demon. He was about to help when he felt his body yet again being hurled into the air and halfway across the tent. He landed with a hard thud. He shook off the pain and realized he was at the edge of the tent. He quickly rolled beneath it and came to the other side. The darkness of the park surrounded him. Endless trees on all sides. Then he saw Jackson, who was just now attempting to get to his feet. Balthazar ran to him.

"Balthazar," Jackson breathed out, clutching his side. Balthazar saw the clear pain reflected in those eyes.

"Are you hurt?"

Jackson sucked in a tight breath. "Yeah, I'm all right." Though he still held a hand to his side. Balthazar wondered if the hunter broke a rib in his fall.

"Good thing you brought a doctor," Balthazar teased lightly.

Jackson's eyes moved instantly back to the tent, concerned.

"Don't worry," Balthazar said reassuringly. "Your brother's a fighter."

Balthazar then noticed the shotgun by the hunter's feet. He picked it up and reloaded it. Jackson sent him a hard look. "Can you use that?"

He shrugged, "Aim and shoot, right?"

Jackson snorted, "Yeah somethin' like that"

"Get Sam for me," Balthazar said. "I'm going after the bitch."

Jackson nodded and they moved through the darkness. Balthazar left Jackson and headed inside the tent away from Sam. He wanted to give Jackson enough time to get Sam while he distracted the power hungry girl inside.

He pulled back the flap of the tent and stepped back into Hell. He saw Dr. Fick lying on the ground. His crutch had been ripped from his arm and laid helplessly a few feet away. The doctor was unconscious, blood seeping from his head. Balthazar's rage boiled over now.

Holding the shotgun tight in his hand he moved through the tent. She stood before the large wooden cross in the middle of the tent, staring up at it.

"When I find Purgatory, angel- I will have more power than God," She said promisingly, her back turned to him though knowing he was there. He aimed the gun at her back.

She reached out and touched the wooden cross fondly. "Not even God will be able to stop me then."

Suddenly Balthazar had a light bulb moment. He re-aimed his sights on the cross. "Hate to say it sweetie, but God's going to be the one that stops you."

She glanced over her shoulder to him, her dark eyes molten.

He fired. A loud crack echoed through the tent as the wooden cross exploded from the shotgun shells. Chunks and splinters of wood erupted before her, shooting through the air. He watched in stunned awe as a piece of wood from the cross cut across her neck, slicing off her necklace. Bloody hell, he thought in shock, it worked!

Balthazar ran forward, ducking low from the shards that still flew through the air like piercing glass. Rose shrieked, realizing her powers were torn from her. She moved to reach the stone, which now burned brightly all of a sudden with Balthazar so close. He sprinted then, tossing the gun to the side and with all his remaining strength, rammed into her. She went flying forward, falling backwards helplessly onto the wooden cross that now lay in ruins on the ground.

As the dust settled and his heart stopped hammering, Balthazar glanced down at Rose. Her face was ashen and deathly pale. Her dark eyes bleak and full of pain. She gasped out, blood trickling from her gaping mouth. He saw it then. Rose had fallen on a broken piece of wood from the destroyed cross. It stuck out from her chest, bloodied and splintered. She gasped one last time before succumbing to her death.

"Balthazar!" Jackson's voice suddenly rang out, wrought with fear.

Balthazar glanced towards the stage where Jackson sat, cradling Sam's head in his arms. Sam's eyes were closed and the blood from his forehead had stopped flowing. His face was pale like Rose's.

Balthazar's heart ripped in half. He gasped, recognizing the grief and utter sorrow on Jackson's face.

Tears welled in Balthazar's eyes as he suddenly realized the painful truth that he had resisted all this time. Somewhere in the chaos and madness of all of this, he had fallen in love with Sam Winchester. When and where- didn't matter. All he knew was that he couldn't live a life without the hunter.

A sudden bright white light sparkled all around Balthazar then. He glanced down and saw that he stood over his grace. The light grew brighter and brighter. He couldn't look away. He knew this was it. Time to regain what he had lost.

"Close your eyes Jackson!" Balthazar shouted as he knelt into the light and let it take him.

**_TBC_**


	9. Ch 9: Brothers

**Chapter 9: Brothers**

Voices crowded around him, swarming overhead like bees. Sam slowly opened his eyes. He tried to focus his gaze on the person standing over him.

"He's waking up," said a strangely familiar voice that he couldn't quite remember.

"Damnit," Jackson came into view then, looking rather grim. "I told that stupid angel that he was fine…"

Balthazar. Sam knew that Jackson meant- Balthazar. And that he was alive. The last Sam could recall Balthazar was thrown across the tent and vanished from sight. He also remembered how thoroughly pissed off Rose was at him.

He just couldn't remember anything else after that, he thought glumly. He must have blacked out during the heat of the battle. Sam needed to sit up and get his head back in the game.

He slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position and rubbed a quick hand over his face. He felt dried blood in his hair and old mud cracked on the back of his hands.

"Sam- you okay?" Jackson asked, kneeling besides him, unharmed.

"Yeah," Sam said, rubbing his temple where Rose had injured him. But it was gone, along with all the other injuries he acquired while under her control. He flexed his wrists, realizing there was still duck tape stuck to one. He ripped it off and tossed it aside. He glanced up to the two men hovering over him like concerned parents. Jackson and… Dr. Fick.

Jackson must have read the confusion on his face and quickly explained, "I called my brother here for help. Told him I had a buddy injured that didn't like hospitals."

"Good thing I still know my way around a shotgun, Jackie." Dr. Fick muttered disapprovingly at his older brother. Jackson smiled ruefully.

"Where's Balthazar?" Sam asked, looking around the tent. It looked like a tornado landed there. Plastic chairs strewn across the lawn, the wooden cross that had hung in the center was unhinged and destroyed. Then Sam saw the body in the ruins of the cross. He reeled back in shock.

Jackson followed his gaze and sighed. "I don't think the angel meant to kill her. It just happened."

Sam felt a shiver race through him. Balthazar had a mean streak, he knew that. Yet if he meant to kill Rose or not, was unclear to Sam now. He saw the hatred for Rose burn in Balthazar's blue eyes. It blazed like a forest fire and he meant to burn down everything that got in his way- which had been Rose. Sam wondered if Balthazar's taste for vengeance was over his grace or… something else?

He saw the fear in him when Sam had been thrown in front of him, beaten and bloodied. It was as if Balthazar had just walked into Hell and realized he wasn't getting out. Sam remembered fighting his bonds, trying get free. But Rose had her fun with him earlier before she sent for Balthazar.

Rose had tortured him for a long time. Each time healing the wounds she would gash open on him. Sam had grown exhausted and drained from the pain. She finally had all her fun and decided to keep him alive to bargain with against Balthazar.

Now the angel had vanished. Rose was dead. Balthazar's grace was gone.

"Balthazar's an angel again?" Sam asked, already knowing the truth but needing to hear Jackson say it.

He nodded, "Yup. He smitted the remaining demons, healed me and my brother- you of course too."

"Where is he?" He demanded.

Jackson shrugged helplessly. "I don't know Sam. I'm sorry."

"Bastard," Sam hissed out angrily. How could he just run off? Why didn't he stay? Was he still afraid to talk to him about what had happened between them?

Dr. Fick sat down besides Sam then. Sam noticed for the first time that there was something different about the doctor. He stared at him curiously, trying to figure it out.

Dr. Fick smiled at him, "It's my crutch." He explained, touching his leg fondly now. "Balthazar healed me from the inside out."

Sam saw the pride shine in the doctor's eyes as he stretched his leg. Jackson too smiled broadly.

"He's a good angel that one," Jackson said. Sam's heart leapt. He was suddenly proud that Balthazar had chosen to heal the doctor. Balthazar had a heart after all- no matter how much he denied it.

"To think, I thought all angels' were good." Dr. Fick replied. "Guess I have a lot to learn now."

Sam searched his face then back to Jackson. The older hunter chuckled, "Yeah you do," Jackson slapped an affection hand on his brother's back. "Huntin' ain't easy but hell, savin' lives is the best part of it."

Dr. Fick returned the laugh, "I save lives already. I just didn't know you did too."

"You thought I was a fuck-up," Jackson responded knowingly.

"No, just…" Fick seemed to choose his words carefully before he said, "Just different."

Jackson snorted, "Well- now you know. You heal people and I hunt creatures that go bump in the night."

"So Balthazar didn't hint to where he was going?" Sam asked again. He was happy for the two brothers. Dr. Fick especially, but right now, he needed to find Balthazar.

Jackson shook his head gravely. "No- he just healed us and you. Said you would wake up soon and then- poof."

Sam sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Something happened. Balthazar wouldn't just take off without a word, especially after everything that happened today.

"Let's get back to the hotel," Sam said getting to his feet.

"Actually Sam, I thought I'd take off." Jackson said honestly. He glanced at his brother then back to Sam. He smiled softly, "I've got a lot of catchin' up to do with my brother. And seeing as how we stopped that crazy lady from opening Purgatory- I think my job is done."

Sam understood. The bonds of brotherhood were something he knew very well. Sam smiled as he stretched out a hand to his fellow hunter. "I can't thank you enough, Jackson." Sam said then turned to Fick, shaking his hand.

Dr. Fick clasped his hand over his then, "It's good to know there are people like you out in the world, Sam."

Sam felt his heart instantly soften towards the doctor as he smiled boyishly, slightly embarrassed by the compliment.

"I'll drive you back to the hotel, Sam." Jackson said candidly. "Don't want you havin' to stick around here with all these bodies."

A while later, Jackson pulled up to the hotel and as Sam opened the door to get out, Jackson stopped him as he said, "Anytime you're in Canada, give me a ring."

Sam nodded, "Yeah, first drink's on me."

"Damn straight," Jackson retorted with a bark of a laugh. "See yeah around, Sammy."

With that, Jackson and his brother Dr. Fick left Sam in the parking lot. Sam was happy for them. After years of brief conversations and estrangement, Jackson finally had his brother back. And surprisingly, hunting demons and monsters brought them together. Sam chuckled helplessly at the thought. Just like him and Dean. If Dad hadn't gone missing, Dean would've never broken into his apartment to get him. Sam would be working at some law firm now, living the normal life with a picket fence and mortgage.

But none of that happened. Sam fought monsters, angels, demons and anything else that threatened the lives of innocent people. Dean and Bobby had become his version of a family. Cas too now that he was with Dean.

His mind instantly strayed to Balthazar. Balthazar had become family. He had become something even more meaningful in the past few days now. He didn't know when it had happened, or why- Balthazar was a snobbish prick at times with enough vanity to make Narcissuses envious. Yet the goodness and wit the angel had, won him over. Sam had fallen in love with the angel. Now he just wanted to tell him so.

He bit back a sigh as he opened his hotel room. He shut it behind him, locking it and leaving the light off. He needed to sleep. The day's events had utterly exhausted him. Every bone in his body felt weak and tired. He dropped ungraciously onto his bed, not bothering to turn it down. Sleep felt peaceful then. He worried about Balthazar. But he knew that the angel could take care of himself again. He didn't need Sam anymore. Except Sam still needed him. He just hoped that when he woke up, that Balthazar would have changed his mind and would come back to him.

_**TBC**_


	10. Ch 10: Long Time to Love

**Chapter 10: Long Time to Love**

"I'm all in," he said confidently, pushing the stack of plastic chips forward, letting them spill out onto the table.

Balthazar coolly titled the rim of his glass and sipped the sweet yet bitter whiskey on his lips. His gaze never left the man across the table from him. Even with his abilities, reading his opponent's mind took all the fun out of high stakes Texas-Hold-Em'. Balthazar strived to rely on his natural instincts and uncanny perception to read a tell on someone's face.

And at the moment, he was reading sheer confidence. Balthazar glanced down at his cards. A dismal pair. Nothing to try and sweep the pot with or battle over it with bluffs. Balthazar tossed in his cards begrudgingly.

The man beamed arrogantly.

Balthazar resisted the urge to snarl, "Don't look too happy, sweetie or you might start gushing."

The man hesitated while pulling in his chips to send Balthazar a scathing look.

Balthazar suddenly became bored. He gave the dealer a look and tapped his chips, indicating he was done for the night and wanted to cash out.

"Leaving so soon?" the new winner at the table mocked as Balthazar stood from his chair. The man's eyes were bright with victory. Balthazar only stared dully back. Usually moments like these inspired quirky come-backs or snarky remarks. But at the moment, Balthazar was inclined to bow out lowly.

"Afraid the game has gotten too dull for my taste," Balthazar turned his gaze to the round of men still hunkered in the table, coveting their chips like precious gold. "Gentlemen," he nodded in polite acknowledgment and turned to leave when the man spoke up- again.

"More like too rich, eh?" the man taunted. "It happens- especially after losing the amount you did tonight."

Balthazar turned slowly on his heel, a spark of anger seizing him. "I didn't lose anything I couldn't part with."

The man leaned arrogantly back in his seat, smirking. "Sounds like something losers would say."

The other men around the table suddenly glanced away from hoards of plastic chips to now watch the verbal sparring. Balthazar cocked an eyebrow at the man's comment. He normally never came to these types of establishments to gamble. He preferred the classier ones with the gorgeous servers and better liquor. But he wanted to change his routine. So that meant dealing with low-life-scum and mobsters to play a bit of high-stakes poker. The men circling the table were crooks, thieves and gangsters. Balthazar found card games in Vegas more intimidating then theses fools.

Yet in all honesty, Balthazar came to the gambling house to sit in the middle of the danger and excitement. Hoping, praying that he would feel that course of exhilaration ripping through his blood once again. But he didn't. He never did. He was just playing games. Waiting for a thrill that would never happen. Waiting for a sense of happiness that he had become lost to him.

Balthazar tapped into the man's mind and smiled cruelly at him, reading him like an open book. "At least I know how to curve my impulses." He glanced down at his chips, "Hopefully you won't lose any of that, sweetie. Or you'll have to explain to your wife how you put a second mortgage on the house to pay for your gambling debts. Nasty habit I must say, Charles."

Balthazar let the smirk play on his lips as the man's face fell and gaped in horror. Balthazar strutted out of the gambling room and into the nightclub. He strode downstairs from the VIP lounge where he had been playing for the past few hours and headed straight for the bar. He wanted a drink. He wanted to forget the anger. And the pain. Drown it in the bottom of a glass or a beautiful woman or man. Anyone would do.

When Balthazar had first returned to his usual clubs and bars, images of Purgatory would burn in his mind. With the flashing lights of the club or the heat from the dance floor, Balthazar was brought straight back into the pit.

Purgatory had been a nightmare. Never in his decades of life had he experienced such terror. It was a place filled with death, blood and pain. Monsters that haunted your worst nightmares and others you dared never to imagine. Death and darkness. Black, evil souls clawing and tearing themselves or each other. They ripped their world down around them. A week down there had been three, long, unspeakable months of torment and torture. Balthazar had been an angel trapped in a hornets' nest.

He felt broken and like a toy, too damaged to be loved. Especially by Sam. Balthazar knew the truth the moment he saw the hunter defeated and bloodied in the tent a week ago. The surge of utter despair mixed with overwhelming emotion. He loved Sam. Except everything changed when Balthazar got his grace back. His grace ended up being a loaded gun, too powerful for him to handle. As his angelic strength flowed through him, his memories of Purgatory came rushing through like a broken dam in his mind.

He had barely managed to hold himself together as he healed the Fick brothers' and then Sam. Balthazar had replayed that moment in his mind constantly since he left. Sam's face was ashen and covered in blood. Balthazar remembered how he had caressed Sam's face carefully and let his angelic powers flow through him and into his body. The hunter's body trembled in relief and his injuries healed instantly, becoming the handsome, beautiful face of his hunter once again. Balthazar sensed Sam stirring awake and like a coward, he tapped his forehead and sent Sam off into dreamland. He didn't want Sam to see him. Weak and powerless against his own tormented memories of Purgatory. Balthazar wanted to be strong for him. Or at least that was what he had told himself at the time.

Yet as hours turned into days and days turned into a week, Balthazar realized the truth. He was a coward. He loved Sam with all his heart. And he was afraid to let someone as good and decent as Sam love him.

Balthazar now strode into the middle of the dance club and vanished. The sound of his wings fluttered behind him as he landed inside the tasteful, posh Paris club he had enjoyed many times in the past. It glittered and sparkled with dim lights and beautiful people. He walked through the front door to be greeted by the hostess. She gave him a sultry smile, "Mr. Roche. A pleasure," she purred in her French accent as she led him to his usual table.

A few moments later he held a wine glass in his hand and sat comfortably in his side booth, the darkly lit room hiding him in plain sight. He sighed into his wine glass. Admiring the vintage. He wondered if Sam would enjoy wine like this. Or was he just a beer drinker? Balthazar paused then suddenly chided himself for thinking of Sam. He had better things to do then pine for the past. Sam deserved better then a damaged angel with too much ego.

"I agree," a harsh gritty voice said from the other side of the darken booth. Cas sat across from him, dressed in his usual trench coat and suit.

Balthazar stared at him blankly, "You know- reading ones thoughts is considered rude, Cassie."

"Forgive me," Cas said in his usual monotone. "I couldn't locate you in this room and had to read everyone's mind."

"Aw and not everyone is admiring their wine with such finesse?" Balthazar teased sipping the dark merlot.

"No," Cas's head titled slightly, his blue eyes narrowing. "No one else here is thinking of Sam Winchester."

Balthazar stilled, "He's not an easy giant to forget. He did after all help me find my grace." He explained easily.

Cas said nothing just stared at him passively.

"Is he looking for me?" Balthazar asked, letting his curiosity get the better of him.

"No," Cas replied insensitively.

Anger flared inside him as he shot his gaze back to the angel across from him. "Really? Huh- I thought he might. Sam is quite a determined hunter. I'm surprised he wouldn't be trying to hunt _me_ down."

Cas's eyes roamed around the club, seemingly bored. "It shouldn't surprise you, Balthazar. Sam is intelligent enough to know when an angel doesn't want to be found."

"Honestly Cas, it's for the best." Balthazar said with his usually teasing smile, "I'm a walking disaster. I know when I'm not needed." He swirled the wine in his glass as he added candidly, "I'm a forest-fire, the only thing I'm good for if the occasional purging." Even as he said it, Balthazar knew he was lying. He wanted to be needed by Sam. He wanted the hunter looking for him, since maybe then Sam still had feelings for him. Yet if what Cas said was true, Sam was done with him. The thought chilled him to the bone.

Cas's gaze focused on him intently, "You do not believe you are worthy of Sam, Balthazar?"

He stiffened in his seat, "Whatever do you mean, Cassie?"

"I know about you and Sam." He stated bluntly.

"Sam told you?" He had a hard time believing Sam would reveal their complicated relationship to Cas.

"I figured it out on my own." Cas replied all-knowingly.

"In that case, sweetie- you don't need to know the details. Let's leave it at that, shall we?" Balthazar leaned heavily against the leather booth, desperately wanting to end this conversation. It was bad enough Cas had figured it out, let alone bringing it up.

"You still have yet to answer my question, Balthazar." Cas said, his hard gave never wavering. "Do you feel unworthy of Sam?"

"In all honesty Cas, that's none of your bloody business," Balthazar bit out icily.

Cas shrugged indifferently. "Fine- stay here and pity yourself for what you lost."

A shiver of fear tingled up his spine at Cas's cruel words. Lost? Did Sam give up on him already? Instead of showing his fear, Balthazar retorted with fire. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Cas. So I suggest you sod off."

Cas stood then, his face hard and unreadable as stone. The stoic angel paused as though searching for the right words before finally saying, "My relationship with Dean did not come easy, Balthazar. I fought for it. Just like you _should_ have done with Sam." Cas stared down at him, a glimmer of disappointment and pity flickering in the depths of his eyes. "You've lost your chance with him, Balthazar."

With those callous words hanging in the air between them, Cas vanished. Balthazar stared at the empty spot where Cas had stood, shocked. Had he really lost Sam? Did the hunter give up on him? Balthazar stewed angrily at his booth, his mind replaying Cas's words. Suddenly the anger was replaced by deep, cutting despair. The horrible, tormenting feeling washed over him making him nearly sick to his stomach. Sam gave up on what they had. He couldn't blame him. Balthazar had gone into hiding like a coward, afraid of his own shadow. And without any explanation why.

Balthazar realized then what he had to do. He had to find Sam. He had to talk to him. Balthazar vanished from his booth and went hunting.

A few hours later, he stood in front of a motel outside Nevada. The air was heavy with heat and dry dust. The night was still and quite. The motel was surrounded by desert and a lonely highway. The lights of the motel flickered brightly around him. A few cars were in the lot and he didn't see the Impala anywhere. If his information was correct, Sam was on his own tonight. Dean wasn't there. Balthazar smirked in wonderment. Usually those two were inseparable. Yet alas- Sam was alone. All for the taking.

His polished leather boots tapped across the pavement as he neared the motel. He listened to all the occupants inside, hearing their intimate thoughts, searching for Sam. He heard him. Sam's mind was buzzing away, reading a news article on his laptop. What a shocker, Balthazar thought as he turned his boot toward the direction of the room. His heart suddenly began to hammer. He knew he had to talk to him. Tell him the truth- even if it meant rejection.

Balthazar was never good at confrontation. He was more inclined to run and hide until the violence or aggression subsided. Now, he stood seconds away from knocking on Sam's door and all he could think about was their few brief moments of torrid, hot passion. All of which ended badly because Balthazar was too much of an ego-maniac to accept his own defeat at the time.

Yet he was fully restored to his former glory, wings and all. He just had to accept one more thing before knocking on that door… all the grief and pain he would suffer should Sam Winchester reject his love once he gives it.

Balthazar sighed, realizing then that he wouldn't handle it well. He just hoped he wasn't too late and that Cas had been wrong. Except in that moment, steps away from the man he had fallen in love with, he knew the most important thing of all- Balthazar was ready to give it all up for Sam, his whole heart, no matter what. He suddenly recalled the poker game from earlier that evening. And the words of the man who had won the game came floating back into his mind, "_I'm all in…_"

Balthazar smiled coolly and decided not to knock on Sam's door.

**_TBC_**

* * *

><p><strong>**Sorry it took sooooo long to update! I'm in the process of moving to a new city &amp; have been very busy! Yet i can't leave this story hanging or u guyz either! hope u've enjoyed the story so far &amp; that hopefully Balthazar's luck will turn around with Sam... ^_^ thanks for the reviews &amp; awesome comments! <strong>

**~kidneythieves**


	11. Ch 11: All In

**Chapter 11: All In**

Sam had spent half the night hunched over his laptop reading articles or blogs about the night Purgatory's gate had been opened. He wanted to see if anything strange or supernatural had occurred in Nevada, specifically near the area where the hole had been opened. Yet he found nothing. Just stories about unusual whether in that area the night of the big opening.

Sam had been deluding himself into believing this would somehow lead him to Balthazar since he started the witch hunt. More like angel hunt. Yet he couldn't stop hoping.

Each day felt like an eternity. Each day he thought of all the things that had gone on unsaid between them and how he regretted never saying it when he had the chance. Now he feared he would never get that chance. Balthazar had disappeared. Almost like he fell off the face of the earth- or more like returned to Heaven without so much as a 'see yeah later, darling'. Sam was heartbroken at first. Except Sam wasn't one to take defeat easily. That's when the hunt started. He refused to let that cocky, arrogant asshole just vanish without an explanation why.

He needed some answers and he wanted closure. Even if it meant hearing that Balthazar wasn't interested in him and that it had only been a casual hook-up, nothing to start gushing about. That was the least that bastard angel could do for him, especially everything he went through to help get his grace back. So Sam went digging into every place or area he believed Balthazar would be. Trouble was, that looking for an angel is not an easy task. Sam ended up out of ideas and places within a few days. He even tried summoning him yet it didn't work. Nothing worked. He eventually decided to circle back around to the entrance of Purgatory. He felt like it was a loose end and he wanted to make sure nothing had escaped that day. If so, he planned on sending it right back, bags packed and with a knife in the chest.

But Sam didn't find anything. He was yet again, fresh out of ideas and places to find Balthazar. He would have to go back to hoping that Balthazar would grow balls, come back and tell him the truth. Why did he leave? Where was he now? What happened between them? He had all these burning questions and they drove him a little further and a little harder each day for the answers.

He wanted Balthazar. He craved him and lusted after him. Yet something changed after he had been zapped full of his grace. Touching that part of Balthazar's soul made Sam realize that the angel had more depth and love inside him then he ever let on. And with those new possibilities, somehow Sam's heart opened for him. Wanting to be part of that love and part of the man who held it.

Except he was gone. And Sam was back to square one.

He rubbed a calloused hand over his face, pressing his fingers hard into his eyes trying to wipe the sleep away. He needed a drink. He needed some rest. He needed Balthazar- no, wanted Balthazar.

Suddenly his phone rang. Glad to be interrupted from his current thoughts Sam answered it.  
>"Hey," Dean said on the other end of the phone. "Where you at?"<p>

"A few miles outside Nevada right now," he paused, glancing at his wrist-watch. It was close to midnight. "I'll get an early start tomorrow morning."

There was a long pause on the other end. Finally after a moment Dean said, "Is there somethin' you wanna fill me in on?" He asked suspiciously.

Sam froze. Unsure of what Dean was hinting at. He hadn't told him about him and Balthazar. It was complicated enough without his older and slightly judgmental brother involved. Sure Dean had good intentions but Sam was an adult and could take care of himself especially in matters of the heart. Yet he was beginning to wonder if Dean had figured him out? But how? His mind began racing but before he could think of an excuse, Dean spoke. "Cas has been rather…" he hesitated, "closed off about Balthazar. Now you too?"

Sam held back a sigh, rubbing his temple. Cas had figured it out. Sam had been rather emotional the night Balthazar fell into the pit. Cas must have suspected something with him and Balthazar. Yet he hadn't shared this information with Dean.

Sam frowned in confusion. Cas and Dean were together now. It surprised Sam to know that Dean was ignorant of all this. Maybe Cas wanted to see how it panned out before Dean got wind of his little brother being romantically involved with a swallow, self-absorbed angel like Balthazar? It didn't help that Dean didn't seem too fond of the angel either.

"No- look Dean," Sam began to explain, trying to sound casual. "Balthazar is a complicated angel and he doesn't really like you…"

"Yeah- that I know," Dean retorted. "I just wanna know why you're still helpin' this guy after he nabbed his grace and took off?" Dean hesitated cooling his aggressive tone slightly, "It's kinda obvious he's not interested in having you help him anymore Sam. So why are you still trying?"

Suddenly Sam heard the flapping of wings in his motel room. He glanced around to the sound and saw Balthazar, leaning casually against the doorway with a sealed bottle of wine in his hand. Sam felt his heart flutter at the mere sight of him.

"Honestly," Sam answered, eyes locked on the handsome angel. "I have no clue." A mixture of excitement and anger began curling up inside Sam. "Can I call you back tomorrow, Dean? I gotta rest."

His brother muttered something then resigned to letting Sam off the hook for now and hung up.

"I came bearing gifts," Balthazar said in a cool, amused tone as he held up the bottle of vintage wine.

Sam could only stare at him in dull shock. He spent the last week trying to find him only to have him pop into his motel room. And it certainly didn't help that Balthazar looked roguishly handsome standing there before him.

His blond hair was a tidy mess, his clothes were his own style again with the designer black jeans, polished boots, and grey v-neck t-shirt with a classic dark blazer which curved perfectly over his toned chest. His hard, lengthy body screamed pure sexuality and utter male, making Sam sit straighter in his seat feeling the heat between them like a bolt of electricity snapping through the air. Yet the most breath-taking of all was the angel's steady, confident blue eyes. Bluer than the ocean and brighter than the sky on a clear summer's day.

"Have I rendered you speechless, darling?" Balthazar asked teasingly in his British accent.

Sam opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out. He had so much to say but he was caught off guard by his sudden reappearance and his own biting anger.

Finally after a minute Sam spluttered, "Why are you here?"

"Just wanted to pop by and say hello to an old friend," Balthazar said lightly. Sam narrowed his eyes darkly, which caused the angel to shrug, "All right- truth is, Cas stopped by."

"Cas?" Sam asked genuinely confused.

"Yes- the bloody bastard. He claimed that you weren't looking for me anymore and said that you could've cared less if I smitted myself." He explained frankly. "I didn't want to believe him- so here I am."

"Do you have any idea how vain that makes you sound?" Sam asked getting up from the table, desperately trying to feel indifferent towards Balthazar.

Balthazar chuckled, waving a few fingers over the wine. The cork popped itself out. "Yes, I know. I'm a very conceited little birdie."

Yet somehow Sam had fallen in love with him, he thought unhappily. "So seeing me has nothing to do with _wanting_ to see me- and everything to do with satisfying your curiosity to see if I was what? Pining away for you?"

Balthazar seemed to debate the question then with a slight nod said, "Yes."

Sam felt like he was just slapped in the face. His anger beginning to ripple upwards on his usually calm surface.

"Oh- and one more thing," Balthazar said casually, obliviously to Sam's building fury. "I wanted to tell you something too." His steady gaze locked onto Sam's, "I'm madly and hopelessly in love with you."

Sam's shock was overwhelmed by his anger. Balthazar had pranced around safe, unharmed while he had been desperately searching for him, terrified and worried. And he had the nerve to strut into his motel and just drop a bomb on him? Sam was floored. He wanted to lash out and throw him against the wall and smother him with kisses all at the same time.

"And…" Balthazar said in utter confidence, "I believe you are too."

"Wow- you really are somethin'," Sam remarked icily.

Balthazar titled his head innocently, "Yes- I know." The angel crossed the room to grab two glasses from the motel mini-bar for the wine. "I got this at a little club in Pairs. It's divine. I think you'll enjoy it."

He wasn't in the mood for wine. When Balthazar turned, two wine glasses in hand, Sam confronted him. "Where were you?"

Balthazar set the glasses down on the table, inches away from Sam. The heat between them didn't flame out since their time apart instead it seemed hotter than before. He pushed the thought aside. Sam wanted answers at the moment not crazed, hungry sex.

"Here and there," Balthazar replied with a shrug.

"I've been searching for you the past week!" Sam hissed out, "I mean- you left, that's it. Not one word or an explanation why. You _vanished_. And what? You expect me to just take you back?"

"Exactly," Balthazar said softly, his hungry gaze straying over Sam's lips.

"I'm glad that you're all right, Balthazar." He replied coldly. Sam felt betrayed somehow. Balthazar had tossed his feelings away so carelessly and still expected him to give it again. "You have your grace back so now we can just go back the way we were before…"

Balthazar snorted, "We were practically strangers before Sam."

"Exactly," Sam said, mimicking Balthazar.

"Sam…"

"No," Sam stopped him as he tried to come near him.

"C'mon Sam," Balthazar began reaching out once again. Sam pushed his hand away with one hard shove. He reeled back, his cocky arrogance vanished.

"You had your chance, Balthazar." Sam moved away from him to the other side of the room. He waited with his back turn to hear the sound of flapping wings. But when he heard nothing to indicate Balthazar had left, he turned to see the angel still there and glaring daggers at him.

"I told you I love you," Balthazar seethed angrily.

Sam tried not to let that effect his heart but it did. Balthazar admitted to loving something more than himself. But how long would that last?

"You need to go, Balthazar."

"Don't tell me that I mean nothing to you Sam."

He said nothing. Sam wouldn't lie but he wouldn't tell him the truth either.

"Fine- you want me to beg…? Grovel? I'll do that for you, darling. Whatever it takes to make you believe that I'm in this- I'm all in." Balthazar retorted confidently. "What do you want to know? I'll tell you whatever you want, Sam."

"Why did you disappear?" Sam asked without hesitation. The question had been burning in his mind the past week. He needed to know why Balthazar had abandoned him that day in the tent, surrounded by blood and death.

Balthazar's face paled. "When I got my grace back- I got something else back in my birthday present," he tapped a finger to his temple. "A world full of hurt..." he sighed, "my memories of Purgatory."

Sam reeled, horrified.

"I didn't know how to handle it." Balthazar stared dully at the wine bottle, "I was overwhelmed, darling. I needed to 'deal' on my own. I didn't want you to suffer through that," He admitted, seeming almost ashamed.

Sam's brick wall around his heart began to crumble. "You could have stayed. I would have helped you, you know that."

"I do, that's why I chose to leave." Balthazar ran his hand through his hair, vulnerable and helpless. "I'm all right now. The occasional flashback is more startling then scary these days."

"So then why didn't you come back sooner?" Sam asked.

"I didn't know how," he replied honestly.

"That's not good enough, Balthazar."

The angel leaned heavily against the door now. His confidence from earlier drained away from his expression. "I wanted to, believe me. I wanted to see you- know how you were doing. But I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what?"

"Being in love with you."

Sam's heart swelled in blinding happiness. "What changed?"

"After Cas told me you lost interest…" he replied bitterly at first, then his sky blue eyes sparkled with sudden grief and pain. "The idea of loosing you forever Sam… was intolerable."

Sam stared at him, unable to speak let alone think of a reply that would match his.

"I love you my sweet darling," Balthazar said gently as he stepped away from the wall. "I just didn't see it because I'm a bloody idiot."

Sam bit back his absurd urge to smile as he replied, "At least you can admit it."

Amusement gleamed in the angel's eyes, "Yes- now you know everything. I've been miserable without you and whenever I think of you…" he trailed off, his heated gaze traveling down the length of his body. "I can't stop." The angel smiled lightly, "Now just tell me you're hopelessly in love with me too, you bastard."

Sam smirked, "That would be too easy."

Balthazar laughed in disbelief, "Fine- play hard to get, love. But I will hear you say it."

Suddenly Balthazar captured Sam's wrist and they teleported to the bed. Sam yelped and landed with a hard thud on the mattress. The bed creaked and groaned under their weight. Balthazar frowned, "I must say, Sam- you pick the best motels."

"It was in the price range." Sam muttered as he felt a spring from the mattress poke him in the back.

"This will not do," the angel said disapprovingly as he snapped his fingers twice and they were surrounded by sounds of waves crashing on the beach, moonlight filtering through the bedroom window and the smell of exotic flowers and the ocean filling the air. Sam glanced around, realizing he was laying naked now on a rather large bed.

Balthazar grinned as he hummed in delight and leaned in for a kiss. Sam, too distracted by the sudden bedroom change hadn't noticed Balthazar too was gloriously naked.

"Where are we?"

"Same place, just different scenery." Balthazar muttered and captured his mouth with a searing kiss. Sam's mind instantly went blank. It had been so long since they kissed that he nearly forgotten how good it felt. A small, weak whimper escaped the back of his throat as Sam grabbed the frisky angel around the neck and hurled his hard body against his. Balthazar chuckled happily as he let himself be taken control of by Sam, who devoured his mouth.

Balthazar trailed his hand up the length of his side and caressed his chest, palming his nipples. Sam inhaled sharply as Balthazar's mouth took over where his hand had left off. He tongued his nipple, then the other, making Sam squirm and groan in hot desire. Balthazar smiled up at him from his chest, "I missed that groan of yours…" he sucked hard on his nipple now until Sam's whole body tensed and his cock ached between his thighs. "I'd lay awake at night thinking of you groaning beneath me…"

"You don't sleep," Sam stated thinly, his breathing beginning to get choppy.

Balthazar sent him a coy smile, "It's an expression, love."

Sam snorted out a laugh then gasped as Balthazar's hand moved to his cock. The angel palmed him gently, taking the length of him and pulling with care and ease, teasing him. Sam cursed. The muscles in his legs tightened and his stomach clenched. He tried desperately to not jerk himself forward in Balthazar's soft hand like some greedy nymph.

Balthazar seemed to watch his suffering in delight. Sam glared down at him, blue eyes slamming against emerald. "You could grip a little harder, Balthazar…"

"I could…" Balthazar replied as he bent down and kissed Sam's hipbone, slowly making his way down to his throbbing cock. "You could admit that you love me." His warm breath tickled this side flesh.

"Nice try," Sam said breathlessly as his excitement grew. "Seducing the words out of me won't work, Balthazar."  
>The angel's hand suddenly stopped tugging. "Really?" he asked in mild amusement.<p>

Sam's eyes shot open to see Balthazar's face flare to life with the challenge.

Balthazar moved away from him to reposition himself over Sam on the bed. Balthazar straddled him like a bull, legs clamped down around his sides and his body inches from his. Sam instinctively arched his back needing to feel flesh against flesh. But Balthazar simply hovered, tauntingly.

"When I'm through with you, love- you'll be more than ready to tell me what I want to hear," Balthazar mocked before he shifted his weight on his knees. Sam let out a surprise gasp as Balthazar rubbed the length of his own erection against Sam's.

He tried to arch into him, but Balthazar clamped a strong hand down on his chest as he slowly moved his hips, rubbing himself against him. Sam struggled, trying to free himself so he could bury his cock into Balthazar's taunting grind but the angel's strength outmatched his own. He whimpered in resignation. Balthazar simply smiled coyly down at his defeat as he continued to move agonizingly slow on top of him, the friction building into an incredible heat.

Their firm, hard cocks ached deliciously against each other. Sam saw the need grow in Balthazar's face as he began to move faster, picking up his pace until Sam was so rock hard and ready to burst. Sam desperately wanted to reach out and touch his angel yet he liked the idea of being dominated by Balthazar. It was hot.

"C'mon Sam…" Balthazar hissed out. His face drawn back in fierce resistance as if he were only a breath away from cumming. "Say it…" he demanded, his hips bucking now. Sam felt the bead of precum wet his tip and he nearly came then and there especially at the stunning sight of Balthazar astride him.

Sam kept his mouth firmly shut, refusing to succumb. He didn't want to say the words- not yet.

Balthazar sensed his resistance and abruptly stopped humping. Sam gasped and struggled again, forgetting the angel's hold on him. Balthazar suddenly moved. His inhuman speed and strength positioned Sam on his hands and knees on the bed, Balthazar behind him, his erection pressing against him.

A warm breath tickled his ear. Sam glanced over his shoulder to see the angel, who pushed his body against his backside. Sam trembled as he realized Balthazar had every intention to seduce the words of love out of him and that threat meant the angel would use all and any of his dirty tricks to get what he wanted.

Sam tried to escape his grasp but Balthazar simply pushed him forward roughly to his hands and knees again. He gasped when Balthazar trailed his fingers down his spine all the way to his ass, where he cupped and molded with his hands.

"Balthazar…" Sam hissed, still unable to move or touch the angel. Balthazar had complete and utter control of them.

Balthazar hummed in heady desire as he reached around and grasped Sam's cock once more. This time it was with a sure, firm grip. Sam moaned, his hips bucking into his hand. Balthazar pulled roughly and with his superior strength. Sam cursed, resisting the urge to come. Yet at this point it was like trying to stop a dam from flooding. Sweat trickled his brow, his heart raced, his breathing was frantic and his pulse choppy. He wanted to come so badly. Balthazar pulled ruthlessly now.

"Tell me Sam…" Balthazar whispered over his huffs.

"No…" Sam bit out, fisting his hands into the sheets.

Balthazar cruelly moved the pad of his thumb over his erection and pushed, over and over until Sam was delirious. He ground and pulled maliciously. Suddenly he felt Balthazar's tip of his erection push into his backside. Sam gasped. But he was so aroused that the pain was fleeting. Balthazar drove into, thrusting so hard that Sam lost his grip on the bed sheets. Balthazar held onto him with his strength, his forearm wrapping around his body and using his angelic power to hold them both in place as he fucked him senselessly. Sam groaned as the pain suddenly vanished and was replaced by mind-numbing pleasure. Balthazar pumped into him, groaning as his large cock quivered inside him, ready to burst.

The angel gripped Sam's cock once more, pumping his manhood with angelic speed and strength. Sam cried out his name and felt his cock tingle and his leg muscles tense. Balthazar gasped as Sam's body tensed around his cock.

Sam came with such fierceness his body jerked and his legs gave out. Balthazar held onto his limp, weak-limbed body as he pounded, almost violently, several more times. Sam groaned loudly, his body had become Balthazar's completely in that moment as the angel continued to mindlessly drive into him, each thrust pushing Sam that much further into complete and utter oblivion.

Balthazar cried out his name before finally peaking and with one final, earth-shattering thrust, he orgasmed. Balthazar's orgasm was just as overwhelmingly powerful as he fell against Sam.

He released Sam and they toppled to the bed together. They were a hot, sweaty mess of tangled limbs and fluttering heartbeats. After the blissful, sex euphoria slowly faded, Balthazar glanced over at Sam. Sam had given up trying to move. He laid, defeated, thoroughly exhausted and well-fucked with his legs outstretched and his head near the edge of the bed.

He felt Balthazar's warm hand cares his ass firmly before venturing upwards to his back. Sam sighed, loving the feel of Balthazar's touch.

"I got a little carried away… are you all right, love?" Balthazar asked. Sam heard the concern in the British accented voice. Sam rolled his head over to look at the angel.

"As long as I don't have to move from this spot… I think I'm good."

Balthazar chuckled and brushed a fallen strand of hair away, tucking it behind Sam's ear.

Sam captured the hand and kissed it. Balthazar smiled tenderly at him. Right then, Sam knew. He had to tell him. It didn't matter anymore that Balthazar had abandoned him or nearly broken his heart. What mattered was that he returned. And that he admitted the truth- that he loved him.

Unsure of how to say it, Sam blurted out, "I love you."

Balthazar's handsome face broke into a wide grin. "I knew I'd get it outta you- sooner or later."

"It wasn't very romantic of me," Sam said with a hapless smile.

Balthazar suddenly vanished from his spot on the bed and reappeared moments later with the bottle of wine and glasses. "Aw- here we go," he said as he poured the dark liquid into the wine glasses. He handed Sam a glass, "Now it's romantic…"

Sam laughed and sipped on the fine, and probably overly expensive bottle of French wine. The wine was just as rich on his tongue. "It's good," Sam commented.

Balthazar nodded, "Delightful really. I should take you to the club that sells it."

"Where is it?"

"Pairs," Balthazar said casually, his eyes smoldering over the rim of the glass. "I would love for you to see it."Sam returned the bold stare as he sipped his wine. Balthazar brushed a hand over his knee, "How about tonight?"

Sam polished off the wine and set the glass aside. He locked eyes with Balthazar as he leaned in and captured his mouth with a sultry kiss. Balthazar opened his mouth for the taking. They tasted of rich wine as they tongued one another thoroughly. Sam pulled back and began kissing alongside his cheek, over the stumble and down his neck. His heart raced in excitement. Balthazar hummed, his fingers trailing through Sam's thick hair.

"As long as if there's a hotel we can stay at..." Sam said between kisses.

"I can think of a few," Balthazar replied becoming breathless beneath Sam's love nips.

Sam noticed the growing erection between the angel's legs and smiled as he sucked harder on his neck. Balthazar gasped when Sam applied teeth. His semi-hard cock suddenly towered and pressed into Sam. He laughed lowly and moved his hand between the angel's thighs. Balthazar sighed, burying his face into Sam's hair.

"God- I love you," Balthazar breathed out the minute Sam brushed his lips against his nipple.

"I know…" Sam whispered as he licked his nipple. His heart soared with utter happiness. "Lucky for you I just happen to love you back."

Balthazar laughed, "I couldn't agree more, darling."

_**The End**_


End file.
